A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such a short time? Have others felt the same way as me, and what do you think about the idea of proposing after one year as a couple? To those of you who are married, how soon after meeting your spouse did you get the feeling that this was the right person for you? Also, how old were you when you met? We have been officially a couple for just two months, and dated for about half a month prior to that. Im 31 and he is 37.
View related questions:
anniversary Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 March 2017):
 I think it is way to soon. I mean I knew pretty soon when I met my Fiance and well so did he but we still waited because I think if you are still in the honeymoon period you should wait until that is over and see how you both go as a couple. Honestly maybe try living together for a year and see how it goes.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 I'm one of those that "knew" in a few months. You knowing is one thing. I would propose when you are sure he Knows. Then the engagement can take as long as you both need. Our engagement was around 2.5 years while we took care of things we had committed to. We were pretty sure after 2.25 years but the last 3 months brought out the questions and cold feet. but it worked out well in the end.
I like the advice you are getting to keep a cool head about this.
...............................
A
male
reader, Phil052  +, writes (3 March 2017):
 I would give it another six months, to get past the initial honeymoon period, then if you are still sure he is the right one, consider that anniversary proposal. I proposed to my wife after we had been together for 10 months, and we are still together 20 years later with three lovely children! Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 March 2017):
 P.S. Forgot to add, the fact that you are planning it on your anniversary date tells me you are a romantic. Nothing wrong with that as long as you also keep a clear view of everything else and don't let the romantic gesture be the be-all and end-all of your relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 March 2017):
I have numerous married friends and acquaintances, some of whom married after a short time and some of whom waited longer. There does not appear to be any connection between the length of time they dated and the strength of their marriages EXCEPT in the case of people who drifted along together for years then married because they felt the relationship was going nowhere so it was a case of "marriage or break up". Inevitably these couples should have broken up rather than getting married as the relationships had already run their course and the weddings did not save them from splitting up.
There is a school of thought that says that "when you meet the right one, you will understand why it didn't work out with any of the others", so perhaps you are right and this man IS the right one for you.
However, I would suggest it is still too early to tell whether this is truly the case. You don't really know each other. Anyone can keep up an act for a short time. Love is a marathon, not a sprint. You need to see what he is like under all sorts of conditions before deciding if you want to share the rest of your life with him.
Also, you don't know if he will feel the same way about you.
I think there is no harm in keeping at the back of your mind that this may be the right man for you (we all do it, after all) but put the marriage proposal on the back burner until nearer the anniversary date and see if you still feel the same then. If you do, then I say GO FOR IT and GOOD LUCK.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 March 2017):
 You've only been together two months, which is why you're so excited. You're in the honeymoon phase, but you barely know anything about him.Sure, you can propose after a year, but it's not wise to think about it now because you'll miss/ignore any red flags, as you're determined to marry him.Lots of people know "the one" from the beginning, but it's hit and miss because countless others feel that and still end up separating. Many others don't know until several years after knowing someone, after a couple of years as a couple.You're filled with oxytocin, right now - "the love drug". You're thinking way too far ahead and could break up in a week, month or year. Slow yourself down or you could sabotage it. Divorce is also very common, so marriage shouldn't be rushed into blindly.
...............................
|
