A
female
age
41-50,
*tks
writes: I feel torn right now because one minute I want to leave my husband and the next I don't want to break our family up. We have been together 14 years and have 4 children together. We argue way too much and don't see eye to eye. We don't make enough money for a family of 6. I work 2 days a week right now and he is fulltime. He won't help me with anything with the family unless it is pushed on him. Any free time he gets he runs to his friends house. He always pushes me for sex which I can't stand anymore. Haven't for a long time. I am resentful towards him now. I feel stuck. I want to make my family work but don't know if I can anymore. Any insight on my situation?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007): Hi I live in a similar situation but its my wife who dosen't give much into our relationship.We have a wonderful 3 year old son who means the world to me, me and my wife haven't had sex since my son was born. I get a lot of verbal abuse from my wife most days wishing I was dead glad that my parents are dead and what hurts the most is telling my son I wish I never had you. So you see she isn't a very nice person to live with.So you aren't alone
A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (4 November 2007):
 heyyyyyyyy great to hear good luck byeXXX
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A
female
reader, dtks +, writes (4 November 2007):
dtks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your opinions on my situation. I do appreciate it. I did have a talk with my husband last night and we both agree things need to change. Hopefully for the better. I believe it will take some time , but we are going to give it a shot. I haven't brought up marraige counseling to him yet though. This may take a little convincing because I've talked with him about it before and he refused to go. Thanks again!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): I was in a similar situation with my husband (4 kids, no help etc). I worked as hard as him and he had no idea what it was like to look after 4 kids and a household aswell. If he had to do something he would get really angry about it. I left him. And things are no harder now then they were with him, he still does nothing to help with the kids, but hey whats new! It so good not to have to pick up after him, cook for him, clean for him. Lazy bugger hired a housekeeper! Men? Anyway I actually still sleep with him and see him quite a bit, but when he starts to annoy me, I go home. LOVE IT!!! Don't have to put up with picking his nose or farting in bed and I love having my own place, even though we are only renting, but I'm working on that part! Why don't you try it, you can always go back, it just might wake him up a bit. Good Luck. PS And the kids are fine, they would rather see a happy mum than a grumpy or sad one.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1  +, writes (3 November 2007):
 Hello dtks.
I come from a large family and know what you are going through, finance is always a worry , trying to make ends meet is difficult,I really think you should tell your husband that you are not happy that he keeps running to his friends house and leaving you with the task of running the house all on your own,he should really help you in the situation that you are in, suggest you both agree to a rota, which you draw up together and see how that works out,if he is not interested and gives you a lot of hassle, then tell him what you have put in your letter, show him the error of his way. you really do have to communicate with him and see how it goes from there.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly +, writes (3 November 2007):
hey,i think you need to relax and look at what you are at,i have parents and they fight a lot and many other things but it would kill me if they split up. you have made a commitment to that man, so for the sake of your children and this family don't leave him at least not now you have 4 children together think what would happen to everyone if you just split up..life is tough but you can always take the chances .if you want your family to work YOU MAKE IT WORK against all odds and everything .it seems to me that he has done nothing wrong HE WORKS FULL TIME so he deserves to have some friends and some fun don't you think? maybe running the house all by yourself is hard for you . but leaving him will make it 10 times harder for both of you , and your children.( sure they are very young)... i don't know what to add but i wish you good luck and a great life.take care byeXXX
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