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I want to make love more frequently, not only on the "established" days... How should I tell him?

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Question - (4 December 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I am going out with is man 18 years older than me. We only sleep together on Wednesday nights and at weekends. I want to make love to him not just on the fixed day but I've never talked to him about it. Because he says our frequent lovemaking has worn him out. I hate to masturbate but how shall I tell him. Please help.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (4 December 2007):

kenny agony auntI think you have got to choose a good time, like when you are both relaxed and enjoying a glass of wine or something, then broach the subject this way. tell him you think alot of him and would like your love making a more frequent thing, and not just Wednesdays and weekends. Im sure he will be fine about it, and glad that you took the subject up with him.

All the best & good luck x

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A male reader, Samutsen Poland +, writes (4 December 2007):

Samutsen agony auntAt his age 2-3 times a week is already too much for him and he is right in saying that he has been worn out of frequent sex.

So do not expect more sex from him. Actually he is already overperforming by 2-3 sex every week.

But you should alternate between the days, and you can tell this much to him.

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A female reader, girlwhoneedshelp United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2007):

girlwhoneedshelp agony auntYou must let him know your feelings but you must also understand that he is much older than you and as you will know men at that age aren't as active in the bedroom department as younger men are. You have to take this into consideration too. He is older and he will be tired out more quickly. How about instead of just doing it on certain days twice a week you ask him that you want to do it twice a week but when you feel like doing it, when the moment takes you like normal people do. If you start planning when you have sex it becomes routine and that is something that can kill a good sex life. Make sure he understands this, just communicate with eachother and ensure that he knows how you're feeling about this.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007):

Why Wednesday's?

Tell him you want a spontaneous love life to spice it up a bit.

You don't need to "wear him out" just because you dont do it on set days, maybe you should do it at random times. You really need to talk to him.

I mean every Wednesday? What's this - scheduled sex?!!

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A female reader, *pink princess* United Kingdom +, writes (4 December 2007):

well if you love him, maybe you should take it in to consideration to understand what he wants and want you want, maybe the age group has given him a warning to be more careful with you as you are alot younger then him, and he dosent want to loose you and maybe he feels if he asks you to make love more you may start to go off him, the best thing to do is to sit down and talk to him nicely but dont be scared, if you love each other you should tell each other things you wouldn't imagine speaking about.

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