I want to leave my husband over his constant complaining!

A female age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My husband always puts down me and my three children (teenagers). I remarried 3 years ago and my teenage stepson moved in with us one year ago. My husband is always complaining that I hardly do anything around the house. If everything is caught up inside the house, I should be weeding, doing yard work and caring for the vehicles such as washing them and taking them for inspection and oil changes. If he's working and I'm off, he doesn't believe that I have done anything. Unless he physically sees me working, he doubts that I do anything at all. Not only does he always complain to me, he never has anything nice to say about my children, especially my youngest. Every night I hear, bringing up names of only my children,"he/she is lazy, deceitful, a fraud,liar, has no respect, show no appreciation, it's all your fault." I am constantly telling him, if he has a issue with the children, that he needs to speak with them and stop all the name calling toward me and address the issue with the children. The catch is that he never name calls his son toward me and he happens to be the laziest of them all. He tell me that he doesn't have to name call his son to me because he addresses the issues directly. I recall an argument with him when he was complaining about my sons room being a mess and during this complaining session he was cleaning his son's room. I tell him that he shouldn't name call at all, period. To top it off, my stepson also always puts down my youngest son all the time. My husband and stepson finally recognized it after mutual friends of mine and his agreed with me that both him and his son are always bashing my son. My husband is always afraid to address anything to my children. He believes that it is ok to remind his son do his chores and clean his room but not my children. He just gets angry. The same rules that he makes for his son do not apply to my children. My children always hear what is going on and know that our marriage is definately on the rocks and they have been recently started approaching him several times and told him that he needs to come to them if he has an issue. I want to leave him, the children are now getting involved when they hear him complaining to me and approaching him. My stepson has stopped the bashing, but my husband hasn't. He says it's a hard habit to break with the constant complaining. Help.

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