A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel completely lost.I want to leave my daughters father, and take my daughter with me and move back home. Bit of a background story I moved here to Louisiana from California to be with him, its been 3 years now and I am miserable. I hate my life here, I wake up and look in the mirror at this person i no longer recognize. I have been feeling like this for a long time, and thought maybe it was because I hated my job and so I became a stay at home mom which I love dont get me wrong it just takes more of a toll, because im 100% financially dependant on him. Whenever I want something or want to go out, he has an attitude and I have to basically beg or bargain with him. He controls every thing. I have no family here. no friends. nothing except my daughter. Every time I go to mention to him about wanting to leave he says, he will take my daughter and the courts will side with him because he is the bread winner, and that scares me thinking I could lose her to him. He has ways about him that make me scared to think I could ever leave her with him. He gets so frustrated at her, if i leave her with him she isn't as taken care of as when I'm with her. Whenever I was working we shared a bank account and all my money was going somewhere and I had no idea! He got mad when I spent 20 dollars on an outfit when I was 7 months pregnant and had no clothes to fit. I secretly applied for cash assistance to save up money to escape. Can someone please help me? Will the courts take his side? or will they side with me, as i am the primary care taker for her.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Here's a link that can put you in touch with local organizations that may be able to help you: http://www.thehotline.org/
I really doubt the courts would take a child away from a mother if there's been no evidence of abuse.
I would start documented EVERYTHING he does, keep a diary and keep it hidden from him.
The link above should put you in touch with an organization that can help you plan a safe exit strategy for you.
Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Usually, unless he can prove you are an unfit mother, children always go with the mother. He may be the breadwinner, but he has not been the caretaker. I would try to see an attorney and see what choices you have. There are some places that you can call for a consultation and there are also legal firms you can go to that will give legal advice. Maybe someone who has been in this situation could better advise you. My sister does not have any money either and has recently gone through some legal issues with her child. There was a place that had one night a week where you could get free advice from a lawyer.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 HI
here is no way he will get custody of your daughter, unless he has proof of you being an unfit mother. Firstly I would Go back to work and start saving money of your own in a seperate account from your husband. You may find that going back to work your self confidence will boost back up, and your mind will be focussed. Then I would sort out another accomodation ready for when you do move, or even if you could stay with family for a while. then lastly I would take your daughter out of this inviroment, its no way to be brought up. He sound extremely controling, and arrogant. you both deserve more than this. If how ever you feel very threatened by him, I suggest you inform the police of your action so they are aware of the situation and hopefully help you. The law Is very different over here in England London, but I know its not too much a difference when it comes to custody of your child.
Mandy. xx
T
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