A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have being living with my boyfriend for several months. We have a lot of arguments over small things but lately it’s becoming worse. He’s 34 and I’m 31. He doesn’t think he should help around the house and when he does he said he wants thanking for it and expects gratitude. I do thank him but I’m not going to say it over and over. When we have disagreements or an argument it’s always me who’s wrong or starts it and that I disrespect him and speak to him in a disgusting manner. I don’t start the arguments, I try to avoid them but he keeps pushing me and pushing me until I crack, then he says I’m a psycho. He has no friends and his only family he has is his mum. His brother does not speak to him and his mum. I live over 6 hours from family so when these arguments to start, I’ve got no where to go out of his way. He blames me for everything, nothing is ever his fault, I’m always the one who’s walking on eggshells with him. I want to leave him but I still love him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2023): OP here. To the anonymous female. I was looking for advice not judgement. I have lived away from my family for over 5 years and I am very independent. I travel all over the world with my job. I am not playing house, we both wanted to move in together but he thinks I am there to look after him like his mother does. He’s an immature 34, he’s needy, needs constant reassurance and support. Like I’ve said, he wants praising, thanking and gratitude for the smallest of things.
He starts arguments and blames me, he’s never wrong in anything does or says. He puts me down, he’s jealous I’ve been promoted at work. He’s got no respect for me. So I have now decided I will leave him as because things won’t change.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2023): I don't know why the last post on here from an anonymous female reader was so rude to you. Not necessary at all.
When you first move in with someone, it can take a while to get used to living together, which may mean you have some disagreements over chores etc. However, if this guy feels that he doesn't have to do his fair share, that is a massive red flag and you should leave. The fact he also feels nothing is ever his fault is also problematic. You could try couples therapy, if he is willing. Failing that, I think you have to break up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2023): Swallow your pride and beg your parents for money for a greyhound ticket home. Unless it's your birth certificate and important documents, leave it behind. Clearly you're not mature enough to live on your own if you're dumbb enough to invite someone like that into your life. That is why you don't move in with boyfriends and play house. Hope you learned your lesson
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A
male
reader, Jammin75 +, writes (8 June 2023):
I agree with Kenny. It sounds like your bf is slowly eroding you. You need to leave. This can happen slowly over months or years during which time you will become less and less of your normal self, you’ll be miserable, second guessing yourself. An awful existence, even if it may be peppered with the odd good time. Or you just go right ahead and leave now, rip the plaster off. I say rip the plaster off because you will feel upset, you may even want to go back, but don’t. Ride out the initial sting and the future you will look back think, thank god I left, and wonder how you ever lived the life you are now.
Just do it, you have one life, you know deep down this relationship isn’t right. Everyone argues at times, but most of the time your partner should make you happy, laugh, feel relaxed and be that one person that never makes you worried or tense.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 June 2023):
 From your post i am hard pushed to find anything positive from your relationship with him. I know you say that you love him, but i wonder if you maybe you just think you love him, and that if you lived closer to home you would have left him a long time ago.
I honestly don't think that things are going to change any time soon, this is the way he is, he is not just going to get up one day and start treating you with respect. I feel if you don't take a stand now this will go on forever and as a result will end up making you ill.
By your own admission you say you want to leave him, and i think this is what you should do.
Start making plans, seek legal advice if you have to, talk to family, friends, about what you are doing, and don't tell your boyfriend anything about what you are doing.
I feel this is the best option for you here, at the end of the day this relationship is toxic, and your health happiness and well being are whats important.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 June 2023):
From your post i am hard pushed to find anything positive from your relationship with him. I know you say that you love him, but i wonder if you maybe you just think you love him, and that if you lived closer to home you would have left him a long time ago.
I honestly don't think that things are going to change any time soon, this is the way he is, he is not just going to get up one day and start treating you with respect. I feel if you don't take a stand now this will go on forever and as a result will end up making you ill.
By your own admission you say you want to leave him, and i think this is what you should do.
Start making plans, seek legal advice if you have to, talk to family, friends, about what you are doing, and don't tell your boyfriend anything about what you are doing.
I feel this is the best option for you here, at the end of the day this relationship is toxic, and your health happiness and well being are whats important.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (8 June 2023):
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