A
female
age
41-50,
*istrought
writes:I am stuck. I have been married for 8 yrs. and 2 yrs ago i was cheated on but chose to stay. Biggest mistake because every since then i have not been happy. i put on a happy face and try to be happy, but I am not. He will not go to church with me on Sundays and our marriage is and always has been based on what he wants in life not me! We have 1 child together so that is one reason I have continued to stay. I was laid off in December so I am currently unemployed so that is another reason I am still here to. How do I do this, can he take my child from me if I chose to leave now? I do draw unemployment, and I am afraid that if I do leave he will be able to get our child due to the fact that I am not working. I am in college though. Another reason i have stayed is because after he cheated on me things went so downhill financially that we had to file bankruptcy and the payments come out of his check weekly and I am afraid he will take my car away from me to. Someone help me out. I am need advice on what to do bad. I am not in love with him anymore and want to find happiness.
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female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (10 May 2010):
 I can understand your fears; child custody can be very complicated. Make an appointment with Legal Aid to find out about your legal options.
Could the career services department at your school help you with employment? What about a job on-campus?
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Contact the The Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service (link below)
They can offer you professional help and a safe refuge for you .
http://www.mvwcs.com/
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A
female
reader, rainbowmaker  +, writes (10 May 2010):
 Oh darling i really feel for you, what a horrible situation. I dont have any children but i cant see why on earth your child would be taken away from you just because you dont have a job! It's not a crime. Your not a bad mother. I too stayed with an ex partner after he cheated and it took me another 3 years to finally realise i had to go!
It's a tough decision and not one that should be taken lightly especially when there is a child involved but it seems pretty obvious to me that you dont want to be there anymore so why keep making yourself unhappy?
More importantly why risk making your child unhappy. My mother stayed with my sisters father because she thought it was the best thing to do by her only to be told by my sister years later that she wished she'd left him!
Ok so he takes your car away, its not the end of the world is it? You are a strong independant woman and i dont see why you should stay with someone for the sake of material possessions. Think long and hard about what kind of life you want for you and your child. The child still needs there father but if you dont want him then why stay?
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