A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Alright, my boyfriend and I have been together now for almost a year, and before that we were friends for just over a year. We have a really great relationship, lots of trust, honesty, and friendship and have only in our year span gotten into one big fight which was resolved and is now put in the past. We took things sort've "slow" from the beginning as far as titles of what we are as I had just gotten out of a relationship and he wanted to make sure I was ready to be in another one before we decided to get serious. Now I know I call him my boyfriend, and people refer to me as his girlfriend (I'm not sure what he refers to me as, but based on the things he says to me I would assume he does) but lately little things are starting to get under my skin....He is from where we live and I am from another state, recently I asked him to come home with me for a visit and he agreed, but it is starting to really bother me that I am so anxious for him to meet my family...when his lives only 15 minutes away from him and I still have yet to meet them...I know in the past he has had issues between them but, if it seems I am going to be around for a while....wouldn't he want me to meet his parents? I actually made one of our mutual friends feel bad the other day because she joked about someone looking just like his mom, and when i replied...oh I wouldn't know, you could tell she felt bad because she had met his parents and I hadn't...granted they were friends for 2 years before I was in the picture so maybe things were different in his relationship with them...? I don't know I feel silly for worrying, but it's really getting to me...Also, now that we have been together for almost a year...I really truly love him, he tells me all the time how much he likes me and I don't know how to say that I love him...because I am really worried that maybe he hasn't said it because he doesn't feel the same. I know maybe a lot of our differences spawn from our age difference(there is a 10 year difference, I'm younger) But how do I go about it without scaring him off? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Hi, sorry for the really long delay in getting an answer to you. Things get very busy around here sometimes and questions just miss getting answers. I hope you are able to get my message.
Okay, what is so scary about saying to him, "George, we've been dating a while and I feel that I'd like to meet your family"? Then just be quiet and listen to what he has to say. Your demeanor should be upbeat and positive.
You might not like the answer, but continue to be neutral. Ask follow up questions in a calm and gentle voice.
My other point is that after a year, I don't think it is unreasonable of you to expect to get an answer to 'where is this relationship headed?' You are fully entitled to know, as you deserve to be dating a guy who is as into you as you are into him. Again, you might not like the answer, and perhaps that's why you've been reluctant or too shy to ask? You sense something that tells you he's not ready to commit to you just yet.
I think you're doing a lot of things out of fear, fear of him not reciprocating your feelings, but by avoiding the topic, you are painting yourself into a corner. You can't go anywhere. You need to know where you stand, painful as it might be to get the answer you clearly are dreading, so that you can move along with your life. There's no point in investing another couple of years with a guy who only likes you.
You deserve to be loved as you love and if this isn't the guy, wouldn't it be better to find out now? Even before you go see your parents?
It's time to put those big-girl panties on and be brave. You can do it.
Good luck.
|
