A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My name is Danielle. I don't have 1 particular question I want to ask, so I'm going to give some detail about the past of my relationship with Greg.Greg and I met about 4 years ago, he was 15 turning 16 and I was 16 turning 17. We met through a friend and Greg ended up really liking me, and I mean he was totally infatuated. Me? I was just having fun and not worrying about guys like a 16 year old girl shouldn't :). Greg and I started hanging out from time to time, him with his friends, and me with my best girl friend Kate. Greg and I eventually started dating but I think I started dating him because 1)I knew he really really liked me so I figured I'd give him a chance and 2)I was starting to like him too.We ended up being each others 1st loves and dated for about a year and half but we were always arguing, mostly because we never went out and did anything and I felt like when we fought is when we communicated our feelings easier. We were young and very unexperienced with relationships so we didn't know the difference. We broke up for good after about 9 months of dating and 6 months on and off. I didn't see him for 8 months and we talked 10 times or less during the 8 months, only when HE called ME, mostly because I was very hurt by the break up. Yes we were fighting, but it wasn't about things that really mattered, I think maybe it was a sign of not enough communication, effort, being young, and things getting a little too serious for a couple of kids. (we broke up when I was 18 and he was 17).Now it's been almost 4 years since we met, and 2 years since we broke it off, but he has come back into my life.He says I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he misses me from the bottom of his heart. But it isn't the 1st time I've heard this from him, and he admits that to me. About 8 months ago, we told me he needed me back, but I think he was scared to lose me forever because he was dating this other girl and she kept calling me and harassing me telling me to stop calling her boyfriend. I didn't know he was dating someone else, and it actually infuriated me because when we broke up, he told me that he would be coming back to me, 6 months at the most. (it's been 2 years). After he was scared I was gone because of that, we sort of got back together and things were good until I started listening to my intuition and knew I wasn't the only girl he was "thinking of". I don't think he slept with anyone when I was with him the 2nd time. He started being a jerk and doing things to make ME break up with HIM so he wouldn't look like the bad guy. He said he didn't want a girlfriend at the time anyway. Then 2 weeks later he was dating ANOTHER girl and freely told me that when he was driving her home. At this time he was 19 and I'm 20. Because of all of this, I moved to a different city to get away from him and because I wanted to get out on my own. So I moved. He's dated 1 or 2 other girls after the girl he started dating after he told me he didn't want a girlfriend, but none of them have lasted more than a month or so.I guess I should tell you now, that he works on the oil rigs now and that will be his career as well as his lifestyle. No he doesn't do drugs, he experimented alot when he was younger, but he would never touch anything again..trust me on that.But after his last relationship didn't work, he wrote me an email and told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and it takes a certain type of girl to be with a guy like him, you know, to wait around while he's gone. He made it clear that he wants me back but I don't know if he's serious about it. He says he's done with dating other girls, he even came up to visit me (i only moved an hour and a 1/2 away from where I was living before), he brought roses and took me out for dinner. But he doesn't call me as much as I would have expected from someone who is sooo sorry and now he's got a job offer in australia. He says he hasn't made up his mind about going, and I don't want to hold him back from going because it IS a once in a lifetime opportunity, and if it's in a year or so, I would think about going as well, if things between us went well. I'm not 20, I'll be 21 in 3 1/2 months and he'll be 20 in 4 months. We're still young, but obviously I still care a lot about him and he seems to care about me. But I'm thinking maybe he misses the thought of me, and not ME. He says he wants to take things slow to see if things go the way they were going before, with all the fighting and stuff. I want to know if i should risk putting myself out there again, if it sounds like he is actually wanting it back, and just an overall opinion on everything. Thank you so much for reading this.Danielle
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 June 2007):
 You've been together for very long, so you're sort of used to each other. But, I don't think you should continue to see him. I don't think he loves you, since he keeps dating other girls. Move on to other interests.
A
female
reader, so_in_love  +, writes (18 June 2007):
Hey darling.
Well thats quite a story, and you've been through a lot with this lad. To be honest, I think that you need to move on, you can't trust this guy after all he's done to you and all you've had to put up with. So many guys out there would love to go out with you and be with you, they'd treat you right.
Think about what you're doing properly before you decide anything.
xxxxx
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