A
female
age
26-29,
*trightsGaga
writes:My teacher is 43 and well don't know too much about his private life as i don't really tend to take notice, but since i've started his class which i've been in for a year and a month or something, there was sort of something there, its hard to describe and if im honest im sure he feels it too, but i just can't get round his mixed signals within the past three months i've seen quite a lot of him. first things first, it was what we call life skills day and for one activity i had him which started normal with the proglonged strong eye contact and the stupid smiling but then once we got outside with everyone, we sat facing each other a distance of a metre or so, and he looked at me and asked "whats with you today" i answered "nothing i'm in a nice mood" and then he whispered "i like it when your like this" and i know this will sound strange but after that we sat saying nothing just staring at each other and although people were around it felt like just us two, then he all of a sudden hit reality and got all flustered which happens a lot more often on the rare occasion were alone, then we went back to our form rooms and he kept coming in and just not saying anything really sort of making up what he wanted to say and i'm not the only one who thought he'd just come in to see me.then the last day of term we were all outside it was summer so i had a skirt on and i was standing opposite him with a group of friends, he was with teachers and he said really loud i hate when she(using my name) acts like a slut, shes not like that and im sick off her skirt being incredibly short. so i decided i wasn't going to respond but once lunch was over i was walking back into school and he was going through the door at the same time and he said something but i was trying to ignore him so didn't catch what he said then all of a suuden he was like "for god sake whats wrong why you ignoring me come on i've done nothing wrong why aren't you speaking to me" then i just answered going "yeaah talking about me to all the teachers and calling me a slut was really nice and nothing sometimes i don't get you" then he pulled me to the side by the jumper and said "i'm going to miss you with every bullet honestly" so i turned round and just said "mate that was the last touch your ever going to get" he muttered "i highly doubt that"now i'd been back a day and had him for a lesson and i've dyed my hair form like a playboy bunnie blonde to a browny colour and when he walked in the classroom he was looking around caught my eye and smiled and blushed i just said "eee well hello" and he put one arm round me and said "hello pet" but on the lesson stared a few of the boys were joking on saying i looked like a friend so the teacher turned round and went "no she looks like a donkey" so i looked at him and just replied "arr right okay now your calling me ugly thanks mate" this part i didnt get he turned round looked me in the eyes and went "far from it, I like donkeys". then i was standing talking to someone and nomally he'd push me out the way but he brushed past me and stood behind me for a mintue and i was like okay, i just looked at him and went jokingly "excuse me was the word" and he said "here man i'll chin yaa" (meaning he will beat me up) and he always says this to me .this is only basicly three things he's done i could ramble on forever with the little things he does, sorry agin for it being long. and just a little information i'm not a love sick teen and i would NEVER have anything with the man i couldnt face it being my fault if he lost everything its just not worth it and not fair on his family.thanks xx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 Well most who have experienced inner partner violence can't see someone acting that way toward them, until it happens. In just about every case, control is the underlying behavior. Knowing his control characteristics, you must know that their is greater possibility than if he did not have controlling characteristics.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 September 2010):
Your welcome. I didn't want you to end up learning the lesson the hard way. Take care.
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A
female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (11 September 2010):
StrightsGaga is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey, sorry but i just can't see this guy being violent towards me and i think some of the things he says is a joke, but i can though see him as controlling
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A
female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (11 September 2010):
StrightsGaga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks and yeah I agree I totally see the controlling side of him but I don't think I'll hear much from him since he has deciding he's going to ignore me and my friends and if I'm honest I'm in the middle of starting my gcses late thing I need Is him messing with my head .
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 September 2010):
It's your not understanding and his answers that you need to worry about. It shows his being unstable and that is besides his crossing the teacher/student boundaries which shouldn't be crossed. I'm addressing this as, his being an individual, I'd warn you at your age, or if you were in your 40's. It's his behaviors that are abnormal. You don't need that, and you should start putting distance between yourself and this teacher.
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A
female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (10 September 2010):
StrightsGaga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's like I really don't understand him, it's difficult to say the least I really do get my self over him then all of a sudden find myself falling all over again it's like were a married couple and I just can't somehow get Hume out of my head at all but I really just can't see the serous side of things like the dangourous side could someone please like help explain and thanks for all the replys .
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 you have to take into consideration that this guy is 43 years old and you are 13-15 years old. He isn't acting appropriate towards you as his teacher, not professional. He's acting like you two are more, as if you're involved. This is more serious than you may think, and if its not now it has potential to become more serious, as in dangerous not serious as in romantic.
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A
female
reader, StrightsGaga +, writes (10 September 2010):
StrightsGaga is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's just when I mention his behaviour to him he's always just sayi I'm only joking don't take it to heart or he'll just ask as though he doesn't want to know me and it's like I've came to talk honestly with you which is something I find hard considering I struggle with depresstion and gettin tested for bipolar which is something he knows.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (10 September 2010):
I agree with rcn, completely.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (10 September 2010):
If what you say is true with how he has been acting, it's abnormal. I AM NOT talking flirting and attraction. His behavior would be what I'd find in a stalker, or someone who has been or would be involved in a controlling relationship, related to domestic violence. The type of behavior that is found when, well they get upset, and the body of their partner is found.
I'm not trying to scare you, but if I were you I'd back off, and not reciprocate any of these advances. His outburst, for his age, and in a professional setting, calling a student a slut. Pulling you aside, then stating he'd still touch, even though you said no. These are not behaviors you'd find in a male that we'd consider to be normal forms of behavior. They are forms of control, and unless you want to experience major problems in your young life, I'd recommend staying away from this instructor. If it continues, I'd report this behavior to the authorities, and if you were to I'd highly recommend requesting protection for yourself as well. I've read many stories where these types of behaviors are evident, and most of them are after things didn't turn out the way their partner would hope it would have.
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