A
male
age
30-35,
*onley_heart
writes:iam attending a 3month java course at a coaching centre suitated 60kms away from my home town.after completing 1 month,i noticed a cute girl and i started falling in love with her.im not very courageous to talk to girls but once i got a chance to talk with her and was able to know her basic personal details like her name place etc.then after that she used to smile at me when we both come in contact.i tried many times to talk with her but some strong force is holding me to not to.she is also very intelligent and is has strong desire to study and get a job.so i need ur expert help...1)is it just love or crysh?2)what to do to make her fall in love with me?3)how to attract her?4)should i show more courage to talk to her?further advices from you experts are very much appreciated. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, PuffinMuffin  +, writes (30 August 2016):
1) Crush. You've projected an image of who she is and what she's like from her appearance into something you like. She could be horrible, or merely incompatible with you. Be very prepared for your image of her to be wrong.2) Buy a magic wand if you want that to happen today. Or else be patient. Accept that she might not or cannot fall in love with you for reasons you cannot control.3) Be yourself. It's impossible to be anyone else. If she's not attracted, don't worry. Not everyone you see on a street will be attracted to you.4) Try talking to other girls/women, including those you're not interested in. They are people after all. Get used to giving them little compliments, but don't go overboard. After a while you will realise it's not hard to do this, and then go talk to the girl... or then next one you meet. Don't panic!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2016): It's not love. You love the idea of her, not her.Looks and personality are two different things. You have painted a picture of what she is like as a person in your mind. Man up a little, fight through the fear and awkwardness make conscious efforts to talk to her, get to know her. If you still like her, ask her out.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (14 August 2016):
 So much depends on your culture, and hers. Also the culture of the country you are studying in. What might be acceptable in one could be offensive in another.
In UK we hear of honour killings. You wouldn't want to put a young woman in a position wherein her family felt she had dishonoured them.
Perhaps you could explain your situation more clearly.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (14 August 2016):
 It's not love, it's just attraction at this point, because you cannot love a person you know nothing about.
You are travelling far too quickly and putting far too much pressure on yourself.
Start with just chatting to her as you would one of your other friends. "Hi. How are you today? What are you up to today?" Then perhaps see if she wants to go for a drink with you so you can chat. Ask her lots of questions about herself. This will be good in two ways: it will take your mind off how YOU are doing and will make you sound like a caring attentive guy who is interested in her. (Obviously don't ask her anything too personal, but just things like what she enjoys doing in her spare time, etc).
Good luck.
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