A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need some serious help, I have a very high sex drive, I want to have sex with my husband every night before bed, but he isn't the same way. Is there anyway I can lower my sex drive? I don't know what else to do, I've tried getting my husband more interested, but he just isn't.
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female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (17 November 2011):
 So you guys used to have sex a lot. Marriage does tend to slow down the sex life it's normal. Psychology says, first we fall in love, and the chemicals in our brain make us horny and we want sex all the time. It's kind of like an obsession. It's similar to having a crush on someone. When we are with our partners a while, the chemical drops, and we no longer feel such a drive for sex. Instead we get more interested in the other things in a relationship, talking, telling our secrets, learning about each other etc. That's when we fall in love more deeply, and love becomes more about the personality of the person.... It's a very common pattern.
Have you ever tried to talk to him about this problem in your sex life?
A
female
reader, charliesdevil73 +, writes (17 November 2011):
 Why not just masturbate more often? I have the little vibrator Trojan makes and it is very discrete and quiet, plus it's waterproof. I just spend a little extra time in the bathroom when I take a shower when I am horny and my husband isn't. I don't see anything wrong with taking care of your own needs as long as it doesn't become all you want and forget about sex.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2011):
 if everything else is ok and you just need the orgasm them masturbate.
I have a hand held shower massage.. it's pretty much part of the daily event in my house....
I have a much higher sex drive than my partner (i'm 51 to his 38 btw)....but i get tons of cuddles, affection and kisses daily from him so i'm more than happy to create my own orgasms. I do NOT lie to him about it.. he knows what's going on.
he too takes care of himself if he's in the mood and i'm not available... so this works for us.. but i know many folks it would not work for.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know asking for it every night is a bit much, but we used to and sometimes more then twice a day, now im lucky if it's once a week.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (15 November 2011):
Sounds like you and hubby have different sex drives, and that's alright, you can still be together if there is a lot of love, but it won't be easy and there has to be some compromise. You have to tell him how desperate you feel, he has to understand that he has to give just a little more pleasure. Not every night, that's too much, but maybe an extra night of love making, so you will feel he's trying hard to please you. Penetrative sex may not be possible, his dick doesn't work and he can't make it. For you, sex toys, and solo masturbation, with or without pornography, and some nights you will just have to suffer some frustration, it won't kill you. Please don't have an affair. If your thinking like that, then a divorce is more suitable for the both of you. Affairs are too messy and complicated, better to just go and find a more suitable partner.
One other thing. Your sex drive is normal, but it's not as common as the amount of women who have low sex drives and avoid sex. Some women with high sex drives find that it's because they want love, and affection, and because they are not getting this, their body craves the closeness of sex. If this rings a bell with you, then consider how your husband treats you, and see if you can give to him, and get from him more romantic affection. This will help if their is problems with love and affection, but not if it's really the sex that is lacking in your marriage.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): Masturbate girl! Get some toys and watch a good porno (the female friendly ones unless you like the raunchy ones) that should help, I used to have that problem and my solution worked for me :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is unresponsive to any of my attempts, and ive done everything. He's just not that into sex, and im talking about going all night, but since he wants nothing to do with me sexually i need to know a way to not want it anymore to make him happier.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (15 November 2011):
 Sex every day is pretty unusual, even for a man. If your sex drive is that great and you want sex every day, why don't you use sex toys? Give your husband a break and don't badger him for sex. Desperation isn't an attractive look, especially for a woman. Use the toys and give him the chance to initiate sex.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (14 November 2011):
 How have you tried to get him more interested?! Are you spontaneous?! Towards the end of the nite wonder into the bedroom change into something extremely sexy. Low cut top with a pushup and thong a costume maybe?! N grab a toy n nice perfume. That drives me wild anyway. Then just grab him. Beg for his dangle kiss him talk dirty and if he doesnt respond... then ahhhhhhhh he has an issue. Dont expect him to go all nite. Thats where compromise comes in. Im a pretty big giver personally so no probs there for me but some men can get annoyed. If he doesnt respond to ur insane initiative talk to him n ask him why hes not in the mood.
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