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I want to have sex but it hurt when we tried and now I'm afraid to try again

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 June 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *larity010 writes:

Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years now and we've never had sex. It was only mentioned by him about 9 months into the relationship just suggesting it but I was only 16 and I said I wasn't ready.

This January we tried it and he had to stop because it just hurt me too much and he never got far in enough to break the hymen so I guess I'm still a virgin.

There's been so many times I've been like 'Look we can have sex I promise' and I've let him down. We're both coming up to 18 soon and I really want us to have it I'm just afraid because it really hurt last time and I didn't enjoy it. I also don't feel confident at all.. I have a bit of acne on my chest and it makes me feel like I'm not "sexy" enough for sex, if that even makes sense to anyone?

I just need some help on what to do in this situation because I am ready for it, I tried it before it's just because it hurt and I hate letting him down all the time because he is a teenage boy it's to be expected but he's clearly not using me for sex.

View related questions: acne, hymen, still a virgin

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2012):

get some quality lube, not oil based as itcan dissolve some condoms.

use protection.

Lots of foreplay to get yourselves relaxed.

I have heard some girls find it less painful when they are ontop and can have full control over speed and depth.

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A female reader, SierraLake United States +, writes (24 June 2012):

SierraLake agony auntWell when i had sex for the first time it hurt me too. But once he got it in the pain faded in pleasure. Also the more you do it the less it will hurt in the end(: So i believe to let him on top and tell him to take it slow for your sake. That really helps. AND with the acne thing, he should love your flaws no matter what(: im sure he has his so if you guys are close enough those little things shouldnt matter anymore(:

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A female reader, jjnsna7 United States +, writes (24 June 2012):

You need to know if this is what both of you want. and the reasons besides lust and curriorisity. I don't know how much you know about thehuman body and its responses but it does matter. Sometimes the body wants it, the mind wants it, and the individuals want it. You still have to determine un sexy things firstl

Is a pregnancy wanted

Would behavior be allowed where pregancy is a possibple (don't need rubber)?

Is this for a long term relationship which might include marriage..

It might be a gift for a wedding night but it might be a

gift given in an alcoloholic state.

The gift guys want is that they want someone that is able to enjoy sex in and out of bed and are willing to try things that seem like fun for the girl and other things that might see like fun for the guy. The hymen is the least important thing to further happiness. A doctor can remove the hymen so you have no worries about pain for when the time comes.

What you need to know is that it will not that precious to the guy. Trust me on this one. What will be precious is your decision together.

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