A
male
 ,
* Waited For The One
writes:Ok My And My Ex Girlfriend of 3 week's are over she doesn't wanna get back together that's fine by me. i keep saying 2 her we sould keep trying for a kid. y because i always wanted 1 and she want's 1. new year's eve i nearly got her 2 say yes i don't wanna have sex with her before u all think i do. i just want a kid and i think my ex is a good looking lady. she's 20 and she think's in the next few month's she will never have 1 ever. and i'm 24 so i keep saying 2 her why not have 1 with me. i'm gonna go out this weekend and have some fun. but if i do meet a new girl i'm not gonna turn it into a full term r-ship it's just the fun i'm after.ok me and my ex will be liveing 2gether by the end of the month. so the fun r-ship i'm looking 4 will be great so if i do keep haveing sex with my ex my fun girlfriend doesn't make me feel guilty do u think i'm wrong or right?do u think me and my ex sould have a kid 2gether?do u think i'm stupid of liveing with my ex?
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female
reader, Reebe +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Please don't have a child with your Ex she is only 20 years old!
Let her wait a few years and move on to a stable relationship before she thinks about having children.
You are happy to have sex with who ever comes along by what you have written and that is no place for a child to grow up in!
Your girlfriend even tho she is younger is much more mature than you and I sujest you grow up alot before ever deciding to have any children,
You are definatly wrong and you and your ex should make a clean break from each other.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (4 January 2007):
 Good lord, please do not reproduce.
You're trying to convince some 20 year old girl to have your baby? She's 20. She's got her whole life ahead of her. And it's possible that maybe she doesn't want to be with YOU for the rest of her life. You do realize that having a baby is a lifelong committment right? To your baby and to the girl you have her with.
Maybe you should think about finding a girl you LOVE rather than some random girl who's hot to have a baby with. A baby isn't just a fun accessory as so may young people are beginning to think. A baby will take over your life. It will become your life. You won't have time for "fun" relationships, partying and going out... unless, that is, you want to be a bad father.
I know I'm being sort of harsh here, but it seems like you aren't really thinking about the long term effects. Do you realize how EXPENSIVE having a baby is? Babies are price-y little additions to your family. They cry, they get sick, you have to raise them right and pay for EVERYTHING up until they turn 18.
Do you have health insurance? Does it cover medical care for your ex during pregnancy and for your newborn child?? You really need to think this over.
I just looked this up, on AVERAGE it costs a middle-income family $250,000 to raise a child from birth to age 17. And that DOESN'T include the cost of education. In the first year alone the costs of a baby can reach between $9,000 and $11,000.
Delivering the baby alone will be horribly expensive. If you're going to go through a normal, vaginal delivery it can range from $5,000-$8,000. For a C-Section it can be up to $12,000. Let's not even MENTION how much that price sky rockets if there are complications. Even if you kid is in ABSOLUTELY perfect health, you still have to go in for a whole bunch of doctors appointments and get a whole bunch of immunizations.
That's just the financial part of having a baby. The emotional and physical tolls a child will have on you are so FRIGGIN' immense, they'll blow your mind. You'll be EXHAUSTED, with a new baby. You think babies are all fun and games... sort of like puppies. Sort of frustrating, but bearable. Oh no. Babies will do a number on you like you'll never imagine. ESPECIALLY for the first five years, when their existence depends SOLEY on you.
Unless you decide to leave all the baby care to your ex-girlfriend, which isn't fair in such a huge way it's incredible.
To have a baby you have to be ready to give your life up to another being. You need to be done with your fun and your wildness so you can commit to bringing up a child. It doesn't sound like you're ready in the least and your ex reeeeaaalllyyy doesn't sound ready either. If she's not sure that she wants a baby, who the hell are you to make her? If she's not sure, the answer is NO. Do NOT have a child together.
I'm sorry. Usually I'm not so harsh, but this is a subject that really gets me going.
Keep having fun and enjoying your life. Maybe when you settle down with ONE girl who you REALLY love and have discussed THOROUGHLY the decision of having a baby (and maybe you'll even be married to her first! Just an idea. Just throwing that out there.), then you'll be ready. But it's not now for you. And really not now for your poor ex-girlfriend.
-India
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 January 2007):
 To you last three questions...WRONG...NO...YES
This is one of the most cockamamie situations I have ever heard of. Please don't reproduce.
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