A
female
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*tarisrocks
writes:i have writen a speach for my bf that will sum all the problems up can you tell me if it any gud and what can i do to improve it. names will be replaced by numbers"When you asked me out I was so happy as from the first moment I met u I knew you had to be mine. You still make me happy but at moment when im alone and have time to think I get upset and I want to talk about things with you but I cant as you are busy and when I get to see you I get scared and don’t bring the problems up. First I going to tell you something that no one else knows but it might explain why I get a bit needy sometimes ive had some bad experiances with men ive been mentally abused, cheated on, used and ive even been forced into sexual acts but I don’t want to talk about them as they my past and I want them to stay there but this is why I become needy sometimes as I feel safe when your around me.The next is I have some question and possible solutions to your problemsAs I have pointed out before you seem distant to me recently I understand it because of work and stuff like that but it leaves me feeling slightly forgotten I have a solution to this how about we have one time a week where we phone each other e.g. Saturday morning before we both have work or Tuesday afternoons when I have frees and we have a minimum time of 10 minutes where we just talk. I would love to see you move often but I understand with work it will be hard but I have a idea on Tuesday I have frees in the afternoons and Im thinking maybe I can come and meet you after work at 2 and we hang even if it only for 30 minutes. Can I ask though why all a sudden when we do see each other you don’t want to meet in town or outside my work anymore?Can I also ask what is your relationship with 11111 and why do you let her get away with invading my privacy so much because I feel violated that she trying to split us up as using my personal thoughts and feelings to attempt to do it.Now on to the harder stuffYou say you can’t dump 22222 because you need a place to stay is there a reason that stopping you going back to your mums?Have you got mates or can you stay at your brothers?Do you really intend on dumping 22222 or do you just like the whole having 2 girlfriends thing?Have you talk to 22222 mum and explained to her that you fear you feelings for 22222 are fading but are scared to do anything in fear of being kicked out the house and you don’t want to hurt 22222 by leading her along for too long as she might be understanding and let you stay and make sure you promise to be 22222 best mate and be for her when she needs you but not as a boyfriend. When you said you loved me did you really mean it? I did when I said it to you and you have been the first guy that ive said it to.I think that is all I need to talk about." Reply to this Question
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female
reader, vina_101 +, writes (4 January 2007):
 This speech was good until I read the part about two girlfriends. Why are you with a guy who already has a girlfriend? Or a guy who has you as a girlfriend as well as some other girl? What's going on there?
Anyway it's good that you're going to talk to him about the problems that you have because communication is the key. But I don't really think him having two girlfriends is really a good thing. How long have you been with this guy? Why are you accepting this?
Your relationship with him seems so complicated. Do you really need all this complication? Is it worth it? I would never be with a guy if I knew he had another girlfriend, I'd dump him as soon as I found out. It's me only or nothing, no compromise, I would refuse to be with a guy who has another girlfriend. I'm surprised that you are still with him. I don't understand.
But yeah...talk to him about it and let him know how you feel. I hope it all gets sorted. Oh and make sure you talk to him when he's not busy so you have his undivided attention.
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