A
female
age
26-29,
*opeless.romantic
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 17 months now, but lately I don't feel the same around him. Most days, I don't even want to talk to him or see him. He just makes me mad all the time, tells me i'm doing everything wrong, and I just don't feel like I love him anymore. He says he still loves me more than anything, and I believe that he does, but I hate that I don't feel the same way. I told him I was starting to see him as more of a friend than anything else, but it's almost as though he wouldn't let me break up with him; he told me to think about it some more, then left on vacation for 2 weeks, so now I can't even talk to him about it.So when he gets back, I need to tell him my final decision; whether we're breaking up, taking a break, or trying to make things work. But the thing is, I don't want to make things work. I want to go out and live a little, meet other guys, spend more time with my friends. Do I just tell him that? Or will that completely break his heart?I'm just really confused right now, he was my first serious boyfriend and i'm scared of letting him go... But I feel like I would just be hurting him even more if I stayed with him any longer.
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female
reader, NotAPhycho1  +, writes (24 July 2012):
You will Break his heart for sure, even devastate his world. I think if he is doing or saying things that may sound crazy there might be a simple answer or solution to his actions. If you have obviously been together that long I am sure you have had arguments before. I must ask how do you deel with those? Is only one person the winner or is there good communication and you can come to a compromise? Do issues ever seem resolved? It all comes down to how much you care and want to be together. I live in a world of cheaters I have known for a while he has been a part of chat groups and is seeking out attention from other girls I am so crushed I am having a hard time even looking myself in the mirror because I used to feel strong and confident. Now I feel that my experiences in life have all been so traumatic that I can't figure out why I deserve to be lied too and all I ever wanted was someone to love and hold until we grow old. I too feel bad all the time but even through it all I still live him at the end of the day...but still wish that I was good enough to be the one and only for him. I don't think that it's the end but nomatter what I do or say, just cause he does not want to hurt me he won't tell me the truth and that hurts worse. I know hurt I have been engaged 2x in life and both have died
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (24 July 2012):
When you're feeling this way, it's best to break up once and for all. Don't leave the possibility of you two getting together dangling in front of him, because if you're honest with yourself you know that's not going to happen and that wouldn't be fair to him.
Yes, breaking up is painful. But if you are direct and leave nothing to chance, he'll get over it much quicker. Don't leave him with false hope of things working out--that hurts a lot more in the long run. It's like ripping off a band aid. The best way is quick and effectively instead of slowly and drawn out.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 July 2012):
You need to end it entirely. Don't say that you want to meet other guys. Instead, just say that you're not ready for this level of commitment.
You know that this is over, and you're being mature in the way you're looking at it and dealing with it. Now you just need to make the final step and let him go. Yes, it will hurt him, but it's better this way than any other way.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): As much as it might hurt him , it will hurt YOU even more to stay. Your sacraficing your own happiness to make him happy . Why stay in a relationship thats not right for you? The time you spend in this unwanted relationship is the time you're wasting that you could be out having fun & meeting new people . Its going to hurt and its no easy way to break up with someone but you have to suck it up and do it if thats what you really want hun.
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