A
male
age
36-40,
*oboaxe
writes:Hey there! I hope you can help me out. A few weeks ago I met a girl who was helping out with casting. We hit it off pretty well so before she left I asked if she'd like to hang out sometime and she said she did, so I asked for her number. I called and texted twice in the next two weeks, but never got a response. A week after that they actually hired her to work there full-time. When she saw me she told me that she was sorry she hadn't returned my calls but she had been very busy. I've talked with her a couple more times since then at work, and here comes the question. So I bought this nice bracelet (not expensive looking,no diamonds or anything) and I was thinking of giving it to this new girl as a kind of Christmas present.I was thinking of phrasing it in a way which makes it seem that I didn't go and get that specifically for her. I'm thinking of saying that I had gotten it for my cousin, but it didn't end up fitting her, so I didn't want to just throw it away, that if she would like it. So, should I give her this bracelet, and if I do, should I say the cousin excuse, or just flat out give it to her? Thank you for your help!
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at work, christmas, cousin, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (20 December 2011):
Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you so much for all your feedback!
I guess the bracelet is a little too soon, and would probably make me come off as pretty desperate and weird. You are all right, jewelry is a very personal gift and I don't know her well enough yet.
I'll hold on to the bracelet and instead continue talking to her and see if she would like to go out sometime. If something starts, then and only then will I consider giving the bracelet to her.
Thanks again!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011):
And when I say chocolate, I mean like a gourmet chocolate bar or a truffle - not an entire box of chocolates.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2011):
I think it is too early for such gifts. Chocolate would be fine, but not jewelry. Hang onto the bracelet and give it to her if you guys end up dating.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 December 2011):
 No, don't give her the bracelet. Don't give her anything except Xmas wishes. You don't even KNOW the girl, and she has been " too busy " for a simple phone call in two weeks, which per se says enough. Regardless, gift giving in this situation is not very appropriate, it may easily be seen as over the top, overeager, maybe invasive. Anyway the cousin excuse is terrible, it would take away any meaning from the gift, nobody really likes to receive unrequested leftovers of another person.
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A
female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (19 December 2011):
 hmmmmmm this is difficult.
From what I understand you have only really talked to this girl a handfull of times, and she has also let you down by not returning calls.
If I was you I would be inviting her out again, and seeing if her excuses were real OR if she was trying to let you down gently.
If I was the girl, I would be weirded out by a bloke who i only knew a little bit giving me a piece of jewelry. Jewelry is a very personal gift in my opinion and should only be given between very good friends or partners. I would automatically be thinking he is trying to buy me and I would have to "owe" him something because of such a personal gift.
On top of that, we women over-analyse things, so using the excuse of your cousin would mean I would be questioning myself (does it fit me because she is skinnier and he thinks i'm fat enough to wear it?. There is also an issue if she doesnt like it..."i think this thing is hideous and now I will have to wear it to work".
What happens if things work out with this girl, she may want to meet your cousin to say thanks!! - lies always bite you on the ass.
So general thoughts are to save it until you know there is something there. Ask her for a coffee one evening after work, and then a date between xmas and new yr.... if she accepts and IF things go well, then give her the present as a new yrs pressie (or better still save it for valentines day - its only 8 weeks away).
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