A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend/ sort of bestfriend, cheated on me when I was in hospital. He then broke up with the other girl after 2 days. For roughly 5 weeks me and him were basically unofficially going out. But at prom he tells me he is with her again, and now we are just "friends" even though he let me sleep on him when he stayed the night :S when I tried to move away he moaned and reached for me. He says he'll like me again if his current relationship ended. We're starting college, he is staying at our old school and so is the other girl. I'm worried me not getting to see him as often as she does will mean I'll never get a second chance. He is the furthest I've ever been with a guy. I want to give him my virgini. But only when me and him our together. I am worried the longer he is with the other girl the more things he'll do with her for the first time. If he gives his virginity to her, I don't think I could ever be with him :S even though I'm still in love with him. What should I do?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Do you not think you might be worth a lot more? He doesn't value you or think much of you. He CHEATED on you, how little does he respect you or care about you when you are so easily dismissed?
And to top it off, he openly says you'll be his second choice. If no one else works out. If he can't get anything better. He'll settle with you until something better comes along. You're that worthless to him.
And yet, despite being a prick towards you, you crawl after him.
Self respect girl. Respect yourself, and get up from the ground beneath him. He's not worthy of you. Stop pining for a loser and get someone who actually puts in the effort to be with you, respect you like you should be respected, and cherish you, adores you, and wants ONLY YOU, and not someone else. Someone who thinks you are the best in the world, and not something he'll hook with if nothing else works out... Hope you see the difference.
If you sleep with him I can promise you you will regret it, because he wont love you, he'll just use you for sex and that's it. You can't make a boy love you by sleeping with him.
A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (11 September 2011):
 Walk away. Do not let anyone tell you to wait for them in case something else doesn't work out. You are being used as his back up plan. You cannot be sure what he is really doing. He may be telling the same girl what he tells you. He may take this other girls virginity then move back to you. This will then cost you your virginity as well. I think he is playing around with you both. He will then have had both virginities. Be aware.
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A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (11 September 2011):
 To be honest, you need to keep this guy as far away from you as possible. The guy has no respect for you whatsoever, or for any other girl for that matter.You are only a young girl and have not discovered what love even is yet. I think back now to when I was your age and the girls I was in love with then and it makes me laugh. You will look back when you are older and laugh at the way you felt about this guy. Walk away from him with your head held high and break free from the power he has over you.You give him your virginity and he gives you an STI in return. Does that sound like a fair deal to you?Leave him in the past and let love find you when it's ready. You will find someone that deserves you and you will give your virginity with your heart attached instead of just your head. Put this guy down as a mistake. Even IF he did get back with you, I really don't think he would be faithful. Not for a minute.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): This "sort of bestfriend" of yours, sounds like a heartbreaker, he cheated on you in the hospital then tells you at the prom that he's seeing someone else. He sounds like a real jerk, and I'm a guy!1) How can you even prove he's still a virgin?2) If you gave him your virginity, what's stopping him from taking the other girls virginity?3) Do you think he really respects you?4) Are you sure the bf/gf status was set in stone or was it something that just "happened"?You need to remember you're moving to college, you'll meet jerks and you'll also meet great guys. After a few months you'll move on and meet new people. I know it's a bit scary and depressing but it's true that how human's function, they experience things and people and then move on.Don't take your virginity as some piece of candy in a wrapper. Give it someone because you want to and when the time is right and they love and respect you and is willing to wait on you, not because you want to make sure he doesn't leave you for someone else, because I still don't see how that will change anything ESPECIALLY since you won't get to see him as often and we all know long distance doesn't usually work so well.The only way I'd cheat on my girlfriend while she was in the hospital and break up with her at the prom was if I secretly hated her. Now, he may not hate you, but he doesn't seem to respect you very much, are you sure you guys are friends?Think carefully.All the best. I hope this helps you out!
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A
female
reader, anonymousTA  +, writes (11 September 2011):
You deserve a man that will be true to you and I cant believe he had the nerve to say to you he would like you IF it doesnt work out with the other girl! honey a woman needs to be a priority not an option!!! If he were your best friend he would not have been with some other girl, especially while your in hospital! he would have been there right by your side! My advice is look elsewhere for love from a deserving individual that will put you first be loyal to you and treat you right! Losing your virginity to him will only make matters worse as you are letting him know this kind of behaviour is ok and that you will accept him messing around with other girls and still stick around. Good luck I hope you listen to your head not your heart! I know that can be hard!
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (11 September 2011):
 He cheated on you and has a new girlfriend. Why give him something that you will only be able to give once? He doesn't value the person you are now, what makes you think he will value him after you have sex with him?
You ask what you should do, in my opinion you should let this cheater go, he has a girlfriend, he says he will like you if his current relationship ends, in other words you are second best! wait a while until you are sure the boy you are with is one who wants only to be with you and nobody else.
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