A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyoneI've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. I love him so much as well as he loves me. These past couple of weeks have been stressful and confusings. We actually broke up because of the lack of attention I was receiving from him. The attention I wanted was not in a nagging annoying bitchy way but rather in a "hello" im still here, take me out to a park, take me out so we can count stars. Do something for me! I am no way needy and annoying its just I felt lately he has totally voided me out his life.He rarely texts me or calls me and I am the one always initiating it. Lately he also has been focusing on his health and has been going to the gym everyday after work. So this is just ANOTHER excuse of why he can't see me because then he is tired. I don't really want to sit back and just feel used like he gets his cake and eats it too. At the same time I dont want to lose him.I am really confused and when I texted him before at work and said how I felt he said uhh you know I cant text at work and yeahhhh. He basically ignored everything I said and didnt care. The time he does call me, which is after I call to make the first move, he picks up the phone and says "ughhhh im so tired". Which pisses me off because Im not just a little fly on the wall.My parents see it to and it makes the situation worse and pressured for me because they know what im going through and they are just looking out for me and im confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (12 September 2011):
Stop initiating communication. Cease all communication unless it is initiated by him, give him the space that it seems he wants to take, and see what happens.
In the mean time, you have your own choices. You can give him a few weeks, and see if he starts to invest in your relationship again, or you can simply start moving on with your life. You can wait for him to communicate with you, and if he does, you can explain that you need to know what is happening to your relationship, explain what you need from him in the relationship, and to find out if he is prepared to give you what you need. If he isn't, he can hit the road.
You guys have been together for 4 years, there is a long history there and it is probably worth giving him some space, and when he is ready, to find out exactly what is going on. And then giving him hell for not communicating with you and leaving you in no mans land. In the meantime, you can have plenty of fun in your life without having to pursue other boys or do things that would result in behaviour that would impact on the relationships. Hang out with friends, go to the movies, have a good time, don't sit and wait around for him, but don't do things that will cause the relationship to destruct.
A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (12 September 2011):
 He has checked out of the relationship. When your partner doesn't listen, pay attention to you and avoids communication, it simply means he is no longer interested in you. My recommendation would have been to tell him how you feel, but you have already done that. Your grievances were ignored and he is making zero attempts to improve your relationship. You may love him, but you need to realize that it is time for you to part ways. You may love and care about him a great deal, just realize that he does not. You deserve someone who will care, love and treat you better than that. If you don't break up with him, this will continue and you will waste more time on a man who does not deserve you, until he dumps you.
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