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I want to give him more signs that I like him to find out if he reciprocates or it's all in my imagination!...

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 March 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Right i'm so sorry for the length of this but in order to get a proper answer i need to say everything and need to start from the beginning. Right i'm one of these girls thats never had a bf and never really been bothered about getting one but when i went up to college i'm in the same class as this lad and i really like. This started when the whole college went on a trip together and i never saw him for the whole trip and kept thinking about him then when we(me and some others) found him and some others i couldn't take my eyes off him and thinking about it now when he left one of the arcades he stared at me as he went out the door.(could be my imagination) Now since then i haven't been able to gte him off my mind.

I keep thinking he's staring at me because he seems to look directly at me and a couple of times we've held eye contact. Sometimes he seems to be looking at me and others depending on the distance between us and where we are will depend on whether it seems as if hes looking at me or just looking in that direction. We all hang out together and are pretty good friends but in these past 3 months i've been getting more signals(or at least i think) that he likes me. He used to look at me an awful lot and asked me for help a lot with work to but doesn't as much now and i don't know why. But since then i've noticed a few things. On valentines day he was talking and laughing with some friends and one of them said something to him what sounded like "tell her" but i don't know if it was or not but he seemed to go a bit red in the face unless he was just laughing, aslo once when he was away when i was texting a friend i was accused of texting him and i said why would i be and they said because you like him! Now i told them i don't because lets face it not many people admit it or anything and he would have found out if i'd of told the truth and also someone pasted a sarcastic comment about me and he seemed to stick up for me in a sort of way, sort of saying yeah well thats nothing to laugh about or its nothing to pick on her about but anyway he seemed to stick up for me a bit although hes hardly spoke to me these past couple of days.

Also in the past he's said he has no interest in getting a gf and that he can't be doing with gf's so tis started to make me think was this all in my head and i've let it get to far. Because now he's all i think about and really all i have ever wanted. Although just recently he's also moved seats instead of sitting next to me he sits behind me but a few times i've caught him sort of looking to the side directly at me and not out the window when he has no need to so it seems as if he's doing it to look at me. He just used to stare at me a lot or so i thought and i really thought that he liked me.

Plus when me and a few others needed him to come to this room to give him something the others said to me "you go fetch him, he likes you best" I didn't say anything after that but i can't really bring it up now. I mean theres no one i can talk to about this but i really don't know anymore. I was upset a while back and he asked me what was wrong and everything but now i'm not getting looked at as much or anything its really confused me. He has had a gf in the past because he told me about how she was never allowed out and so they had problems and he dumped her. But i just don't know what to do i have to see him everyday but i love him, i've never felt like this before and just the thought of he might not like me afterall after all this and after i've let it get this far in my head is unbearable i can't believe its come to this. i can't really talk to anyone in my class because they will probably tell him but i just can't do it anymore. I want to give him more signs that i like him because at elast if he thinks it himself i will get a straight reaction from him. I don't knwo what to do anymore its affecting everything i do and i can't bear it!!! Please help me!!

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A female reader, Prudence Ireland +, writes (5 March 2008):

If a guy looks at you and you're staring at him, he's bound to hold your gaze sooner or later - this doesn't mean that he likes you or that he doesn't. I feel your pain, I've been there. You need to bring your focus from what's going on in your head to reality itself. Your internal "chatterbox" could mean you're unintentionally giving him mixed signals.

The best advice I can give you is to "forget about yourself" and get chatting casually to him about something of interest to both of you - college in general, or some sport or extracurricular activity you know you're both interested in, even slightly. You can use the fact that you're part of the same group to your advantage - you don't have to approach him from afar. At the moment you have yourself worked up into a state and you're imprisoning yourself in a private hell. The easiest way forward is to start talking - forget any looks or comments that may or may not have meant he likes you. If you open up communication by reaching out you'll very soon find out if he likes you AND, more importantly, if you really like him, without having to specifically state the fact.

If you feel nervous starting a conversation, remember what your friends said about him "liking you best" - our friends can be crazy, but quite often they're right!

Remember too not to let obsessing about this boy influence the kind of person you are. Stay interested in all of life, stay involved in fun activities, and stay loose!

At worst, if he doesn't like you, someone even better certainly will!

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A female reader, cutebutnot29 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2008):

cutebutnot29 agony auntif you really like this guy then maybe you should talk to him and tell him how u really feel its the only way your going to find out if he likes you or not.

there is only two things he can say that is yes he likes you and then you can go from there or he can say no he doesnt feel the same way .

if he says that at least you know that nothing can come of it and move on and get over him.

i know its easier said then done but sometimes it helps to tell them.

hope i helped

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