A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I want to get in touch with my ex-bf. Bad idea or not, I'm going to do it anyway so I'd like advice to make it go as smoothly as possible. We broke up in June. I'm not gonna talk about getting back together or what happened, I just REALLY want to see him for now. I was thinking of the most comfortable way to do this for the both of us w/o having to talk about the relationship yet or apologize and be in a very casual position:- I just call him up/email him and tell him I want to see him - could get him apprehensive b/c he'd be wondering why and I dont have anything to talk about?- I can ask him for help - I'm applying to grad school and he went through the process last year so I'm sure he can give me some tips/advice (even though I dont really need)- I have one of his books - I can say I need to return it- I know that he likes to feel manly and needed and appreciated, I can always ask him to do something for me that no one else can do - like to offer me a ride to see my parents (no one else in his area that I can contact has a car). I would be very greatfull to him for that no matter what. Perspective, advice needed - thanks!
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male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (20 August 2008):
 Bad terms, huh? In that case, I'd probably recommend something along the lines of returning the book, like you suggested.
I wouldn't recommend saying you wanna meet up because "you need something." He might think that you merely intend to just use him to help yourself.
I hope this helps.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNope, they were very bad terms. But I still do want to see him.
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A
male
reader, LonelyButNotAlone +, writes (20 August 2008):
It depends on what kind of terms you parted on. Assuming they were good, I think any of those excuses are fine.
But... he's still likely to see you contacting him out of the blue as a sign you want to get back together.
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