A
male
age
30-35,
*XPLICIT00
writes:alright so heres the deal, theres this girl that ive been best friends with for about a year now and ive always had very strong feelings for her. i love this girl and i want to be with her more than anything else in the world. we started off as just friends but then we started getting closer and closer and i realized that i started having a little stronger feelings than just regular friendship feelings. i really liked her but she didn't like me back. we started getting so close that we couldn't go a day without talking to each other. i fell in love with her and decided to tell her. she didn't feel the same. but about a week after i told her she thought about it and realized that she felt the same way and wanted to be with me. we were in love and i was the happiest i had ever been in my life. but some problems occurred and we decided to just remain friends. that was about 6 months ago. the other day we were talking and she told me she had been thinking a lot lately and realized that she likes me a lot again. the only problem is she has a boyfriend and he happens to be one of my closest friends. i want to tell him about my feelings for her. i'm pretty sure he knows somethings going on considering how me and her have been acting lately when we all hangout together. a few of our friends know even though its supposed to kindof be a secret. i dont know what to do for sure just yet. i need some words of advice. any help would be much appreciated. thanks.
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female
reader, xAx  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 You have to let her decide. If she wants you, she'll dump him and go out with you. To not upset your best friend, i don't think you should tell him, he'll be jealous and won't understand. If she does dump him for you, give it time before you make things official as you can lose friends.I have been in this situation. We both dumped our ex's for each other, didn't tell anyone this, and starting dating officially too early and hence we lost friends. Lots of people knew we had a thing before we could admit to ourselves we had a thing. Timing here is crutial. Your best friend doesn't need to know anything, it will only cause him more pain. Like i said, give her time. And if you two have a spark after they end their relationship, wait a few months. My current bf and i waited a month and it wasn't enough. Please do not make the same mistake.Hope this helps X
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): But it doesn't sound like she knows which guy she wants. If she keeps going back and forth, wont there be a fight between you and your mate? Emotions will spark. It sounds like you are all having a hard time of it. None of this is fair on any-one. I think you need to wait for her to make up her mind. It would be too bold to say to her boyfriend, hey, I'm the new one. And she may feel walked over by you when she wants to decide. Do you really want her? There's a reason for what she is doing, granted, but hey, she's got two guys.
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