A
female
age
36-40,
*asha23
writes:I joined this web site so i can post my problem and hopefully get help and also try helping others going thru problems. this is my problem i met this guy we will call him sam* We went out 4 a while about 6 months, during those 6 months we broke up a lot becoz we didn trust each other, he constantly had other gals texting him luv messages, i hated it a lot but he always found a way to make me forgive him (Thats the problem when you're in luv you forgive easily).we decided 2 carry on but my heart wasn't in it any more, because i knew i was being played. Then i met tim* he's charming, loving, kind and faithful and does everything a man should do for his girl, but i always find myself thinking about sam, i hate how much i love him and wish i could forget about him. i once asked him to release my heart and let me go but he won't, he says he loves me and cant let me go. please help me get over him, i luv him so much it hurts but i can't be with him when he keeps hurting me.
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male
reader, ReturningtheFavor  +, writes (7 February 2010):
Normally I would say do what makes you happy and if you really love him try to make it work, but with the very short duration of the relationship, lets work on cutting your losses and moving on. I know this is a difficult process but you need to do a few things. First step in this process is to write down or think about all the bad things that this relationship had. You are still putting this relationship on a pedestal and that is the worst thing you can do! Usually focusing on the negatives is a bad idea because I believe staying positive is the key to happiness in life, but when it comes to drowning the sorrows of a past relationship negativity is the key. Remember that he was texting other women and they were texting him so called luv messages back. Thats not realy a good sign early on. Your admiration of him and the realationship is classic I want what I cant have. You have to realize you are better than that. There are many loyal men out there waiting for a gal like you. Do yourself a favor, go for the nice guys. They are always going to treat you the best and give you what you deserve. If you are always getting burnt by men, then look at the type you are dating. I've had some rough spots and i know that in the future there are a classification of women that I will not date. Next let this tim guy help you through it. Replace all those memories of sam, with thoughts of what you and tim are going to do together. Let tim erase and repair what sam has broken. you have to let the love of someone else in to push the pain of loving him out! Hope this helps!
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (7 February 2010):
 your concept about love and sex and life is required to be clear first, other wise you will live your life in much confusion, and other will use you, means take everything from you, without bothering to return anything to you.
Your boy friend, you call sam, wanted to be hero amongst girls, and wanted to see himself as sex guru....he is not demanding, and commanding person.
Most preliminary, love is admiration for beauty: physical and spiritual. If this lack, then close the friendship file forever. And, search for other who has such ability to admire something, and stick to his basic feeling.
Relationship is for sharing everything...no matter past sex history also, without losing basic admiration.
You thinking about 'sam' is all negative, and bring no fruits. It is not your thinking, but feeling about hurt...which is good if you forget for good reason. I ADVICE YOU TO LIVE FOR GOOD REASON.
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