A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HI have been in a loveless marriage foor 15 years. We got married because I was pregnant at 21. We are and have always been friends, but the love just isn't there. We went through counselling and things were 'better' for a year or so. We have 2 kids and financially it would destroy us. I'm happy, fun loving and outgoing he is depressed, has no hobbies and would never leave the house except for work if he could. I've tried the you do your thing I do mine (not sexual just socializing, etc), but nope. I've never had true happiness in our relationship and I want to feel what love is. I know marriages are hard and take work but I can't completely change who I am for him nor do I want to. He is extremely verbally abusive to both my oldest son and I and I'm worried it's just going to cause my son to become horrible father and husband. He has ALWAYS been an excellent provider and I know in his own way he loves me. If I left I know he would be lost and I do love him as a friend and father of our 2 children. If we argue I LOSE, he will never admit wrong and if he is and knows it it just makes the tongue lashings worse. While he never hits me he physically still scares me. I want OUT but I'm TERRIFIED of making it on my own. I'm fearful of the unknown. So how do I do it? How do I finally get the strength to say enough is enough I need my life, I need someone who will honor and cherish me and treat me as their equal, not their underling. The one thing I've said my whole life is when I take my vows they'll be FOREVER... I don't want to be another divorce statistic, but I'm losing it here.
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male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 Vintage64 i couldn't agree more you are so right ... life is good if you let it, im sure you can get any guy you want ;) hehe finding a man who can love you and take care of you is better i think :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010): You are still young and have plenty of time to start again. You are staying because it is the easiest thing to do. To leave will be hard, but you will get through it, Life is to short to live in with someone who makes you feel like this.
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A
male
reader, $izZle +, writes (24 April 2010):
you sound to be very confused and a lady that doesn't know what she wants. From those words you said i gathered that you don't want to be with him because you don't have any love for him as your husband but at the same time you are saying that you don't want to divorce him.
I have a friend who is married and still is living with him just because she is married, her husband disrespects her and doesn't pay any attention to her she doesn't love him like her husband anymore sure he does provide her with what a person needs to live.
She had fallen in love with a man and he was crazy in love with her. She chose to stay with her husband because she is married and coz he provides for her.
This is the time of life where you have to decide if you wanna take a chance and live a life with some one who loves you or if you wanna live with a man that can provide for you.
My friend told me that she had no choice and that she has to leave the man she is in love with because she is married.
I feel differently about it because I feel that every person has a choice to be happy.
I had asked her a question " what is marriage without love and how long can a person live without love "
That was the time i was really sad to learn that most women want money over love .... some one to provide wins over love, and that they don't mind living their life married to someone they don't love ... anyways I wish you good luck....
you sound like a smart and mature young lady ... for having the courage to voice out.
Things will be alright ... hope to talk to you again ... pls let me know what happens :S
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