A
female
age
30-35,
*yfuture
writes:Hi everyone! I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend and I both had sex for the first time a week and a half ago. The first time hurt just a bit. We've done it four times so far and yeah soon enough I will no longer be keeping count. Of the the 4 times, I've been on top. The the time I was on the bottom. I get turned on by him just you know...But, besides that I don't and have not yet gotten any sexual, physical down there feeling out of it besides the tightness and up and down motion. He has worn a condom every time just to let you know. I have not yet had an orgasm from sex and for right now I'm okay with that. I just want to know why? What can be done so that I can feel all mmm or whatever about it like he does? I do when we do other things but so far not with this. Thanks for your help.
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (29 October 2010):
 Pleasure from sex doesn't happen to all women. I've been having sex regularly for 3 years and I've never had an orgasm from being penetrated. I still love sex. I love doing something so sensual and special with my other half. I love the feeling of having sex, even though its not that "warm, euphoric, intensely pleasurable" you read about in books or hear from other women. Sex gets better with time and being honest with each other, if you don't orgasm its no big deal. I get all of mine from my vibrator!
A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (29 October 2010):
Getting and giving the most pleasure from sex is something you learn. This is especially true for women, but guys also learn to both give and receive pleasure. (We just don't like to admit that we're not natural-born, fantastic lovers.)
If you have had intercourse only 4 times in a week and a half, I'll bet you're sneaking around to find the times and places where you can make love. That's NOT a good sign, and not conducive to learning! Before adding sex to your relationship, did you and your B/F spend a significant amount of time - weeks, to many months - becoming acquainted with each other's body, and sexual response cycle, WITHOUT intercourse? That's often where people discover what works for them, what works for their partner, and how to communicate these things between you.
I hope that you and your B/F are bringing you to orgasm at some point during your lovemaking, even if it's not while he's inside you. Some women like to be brought to climax just before their partner inserts, and then enjoy the stimulation of intercourse and intimacy of his orgasm while they are actually starting their afterglow phase.
My wife and I did everything-but-intercourse for several months before we were married, and were familiar with each other's sexual response and climax before we took each other's virginity on our wedding night. Even so, it was over a week before she experienced orgasm during intercourse - and we were having sex several times a day! (We had done it four times before we had been married a whole day.) That's not to criticize you, or brag about us, but just to emphasize that it's a learning process, and takes time.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (29 October 2010):
 It's only been a week and a half. I remember being kind of let down the first week and a half of my sex life too. I think that your body takes some time to sort out new sensations and learn how to react. Also, most girls don't orgasm through penetration alone - the clitoris is the golden icon of the female orgasm, and often if it is neglected you won't get a huge finish. So, if you want to help yourself to feel all "mmm" during sex, you could experiment with you or him paying more attention to that part of you while he's inside.
Otherwise, just give it some time. The more used you get to sex, the better the sex will get. Eventually, your body will find it's groove! Good luck and enjoy, sweetness!
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