A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so i've been with my boyfriend 7 weeks and been seeing him for 10 weeks in total. we've agreed to go slow (emotionally) as we have both been hurt in the past and we dont wanna rush things.But I fall very easily (normally) but this time I haven't, normally i'd be head over heels in love, but i'm not and this is because i know his walls are very high and he's never let himself fall for anyone before. that scares me a lot. im so scared of falling and him not. he wont really talk about it. he always says live for now but thats not how my head hurts. i wanna fall in love with him but im scared because i know his walls are up. i think about it all the time. and its on my mind so much that i now dont know how i feel about him because i dont know how i should feel about him because normally i dont have to think i just fall but thats how i got hurt in the past so going slow makes sense but i just dunno how to let the feelings come naturally anymore because im too scared to. help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, couchcat  +, writes (10 July 2012):
never rush a relationship, just go with the flow. dont even bring any feelings up to him or he might seem pressured. is very early in relationship yet. let it come naturally. take your time, and have fun along the way.
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (9 July 2012):
 You seem very naive. This is not a bad thing. But you will get hurt if you fall so quickly. Do not give yourself so readily to a man. You will regret it. Just go with the flow. He is right. There is no rush you are young. If it's meant to be then the time it takes to fall for him will be irrelevant. You need to be sure you do love him. It seems you fall so quickly just by being flattered etc that you aren't actually sure of whether it is love or not. I've been there honey. You need to just take it slow.
:)
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (9 July 2012):
 Anytime you have a friendship or relationship with someone, there is a chance you are going to be hurt. That is just the nature of dealing with other people. I know exactly how you feel, but if you like this guy, I would continue to see him and just see where it goes. If you have too many doubts, then you may want to consider dating some other people while you date him. If the feelings are not coming naturally with this guy, it is possible that you don't really like him as much as you think you do. It should not be hard to care about or like someone. It should not be a chore for you, it should be something like you said, that just comes naturally. Maybe consider putting a little distance between you and this guy and see if it helps relieve your anxiety. I am kind of getting the feeling that you really like this guy, but he is holding a lot of things back from you and that is giving you a lot of anxiety. If he is holding back and not really communicating with you or talking with you about where he sees the two of you going, I would take a step back and just think about what you want and what you want to do. Sometimes relationships aren't meant to be, but because we want a relationship so badly, we work hard to make sure they work out. Only to be reminded later that not all relationships do work out.
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