A
female
age
41-50,
*unflower44
writes:I broke up with a guy back in January after being together for about a year. He was mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive towards me, but I loved him a great deal and it took me a long time to get over him. I can honestly say now that I am well and truly over him and my life is going great, but admittedly the hurt and pain he caused me still linger and I find it hard to trust men. It doesn't help that we share a lot of mutual friends (that's how we met in the first place)so I still have to see him from time to time. I made the decision a few months back to cut all contact with him, as he was still being abusive towards me. He wanted to be 'friends' but he kept leading me on and playing mind games (I was suffering from depression as well and this made it worse. Eventually I came to my senses and cut him out of my life. He didn't like this one bit and the first time I saw him after this he was openly rude to me in front of mutual friends (most of them were not aware of the situation, as I like to keep my private life private) and this upset me a lot. I've seen him once since then and he kept sucking up to me, pretending we were best friends and trying to get me to talk to him, when I didn't want to. When I told him politely to go away, he got angry and accused me of being bitter and not being over him. I suspect he only wanted to be 'friends' to feel powerful and ease his conscience.I am going away with the same mutual friends this weekend and he is going to be there. I have come a long way since the last time I saw him - I am no longer in love with him and I don't care what he thinks anymore. However, I don't want a repeat of last time, when he was openly rude and abusive to me and I suspect he may try the same thing again. How do I deal with this situation? Do I ignore him completely and risk him losing his temper again and making it look like I'm the sad and bitter ex? Or do I speak to him and be polite to him if I have to and make it look as if I'm fine with all the abuse he put me through? Ideally I would rather not speak to him at all, but it's going to be very hard to avoid him completely. Like I said before, the issue is not that I haven't moved on, but more that I want to enjoy a weekend away without worrying about the potential actions of an abusive ex. Any advice appreciated! Thanks!
View related questions:
best friend, broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, BigRuss +, writes (13 October 2010):
I really feel for your situation, my expereince of my ex is that I have taken it to the police.
You need a safe zone were you can go whilst on holiday and I', not talking about a physical location but one for your friends that you can confide in so if you feel unable to deal with him they will tend to stand for you (depends on the qualities that your freinds have).
Other than that simply stand your ground... give him enougn room to talk and say as much as he wants.. let him rant, remeber what he says and use that against him. or simply state "I'm sorry your finding it hard to cope with out me, but you are a Morally corrupt and repugnant person and I really would preffer not to associate with you at all. I wish you all the best for your future but .... p**s off and leave me alone". and simply walk off and ignore him afterwards.
its trying to leave the prat agast at you brasen statment and unable to respond. My only concern is, not knowing the details how far this 'gentleman' is likly to take it.
Stay strong bab, their horrible nasty people that live of others.
|
