A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I went out with my ex boyfriend for like 1 year and 8 months and he recently broke my heart. He broke up with me without there really being a reason he even broke up with me over the phone cause he said we didn't have anything to talk about in person. He really left me so confused I never would of expected him to break up with me he was my first love and I know I was his first love too and what hurts me the most is to see that after he broke up with me he started dating this other girl it wasn't even a week after he broke up with me whenever he started dating her and she is younger then him and me I'm 19 and he is 18 and that girl he is dating now is 16 I know he really did love me and I was his first love and it hurts me so much to see how fast he moved on I can't move on that fast cause I still love him so much and I want to get over him but it seems so hard to get over a person that I love so much and a how special he is to me. I stopped testing him cause whenever I did he was so cold with me and telling me to leave him alone and I don't understand I didn't do anything to him. I am pretty sure he listened to his friends and family and they probably told him to break up with me and not be in a serious relationship and it hurts me how he didnt talk to me about our problems I just need help to get over him what should I do?? I still want him back I still love him thank you I would really appreciate your advice and kind words I'm heart broken because of him my first love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni want to thank all of you for your advice this has been really hard time in my life right now. he has really hurt me alot and since he was my first love he is still very important to me and i dont want things to just stay the way they ended in bad terms i at least wanted us to end in good terms but when i try to text him or send him messages on facebook he dosent talk to me back all he does is ignore me i tried to fix things but he just keeps hurting me more and it hurts me to see how he moved on so fast with a new girl and see how he forgot about me so fast i dont understand he really treated me and acted like he loved me when we were together everything was so unexpected and i was very nice and good to him i gave him everything he wanted and i just cant believe he is doing this to me i just want him to at least regret what he did to me because i didnt deserve him to do this to me i hope that in the future he regrets it i know i need time so i can get him out of my heart and mind but times goes by so slow and it gets so hard whenever small things remind me of him thank you for your advice everyone
A
male
reader, Cools_Breeze +, writes (14 October 2010):
Same thing happened to me recently. My girlfriend of a year broke up with me saying that we were on different paths in our lives. And a week later has a new boyfriend who she met while she was still involved with me. She never talked to me about problems that we had and I thought we were okay until the breakup, I was extremely confused. I never understood how she could move on so quickly if she loved me as much as she said. It just made me realize that maybe she didn't love me that much or that she just used me as a safe option until she could find another guy. Or maybe she was just an uncaring and heartless person all along. Whenever I talked to her after the breakup she was very cold to me as well. It just seemed unbelievable to me how a person that you thought loved you was able to cut out feelings for you so quickly. I was confused as well because I never did anything wrong to her and suddenly she was talking to me as if I stole her car. Some people I guess can do that.
She too was my first love and it's been a little over a month after the breakup. I have to say that it has been pretty rough especially when hearing from her how happy and in love she's with this new guy, and they've only been dating for three weeks. I still care about her very much and love her still. But I guess I can take comfort in knowing that my feelings for her were real and not fake and that even if she didn't have the same feelings for me I knew that I was being genuine and that I took the relationship seriously. You can probably take some comfort in that as well. Just because your boyfriend moved on so quickly and you haven't shows that you were genuinely nice person who was serious about the relationship.
My ex girlfriend says that she still wants to be friends with me but I told her that I'm not sure right now because of how much she has hurt me. I do know that maybe in the future we can be friends but I just need to focus on healing myself and actually finding the strength to forgive her for what she has done.
A few solutions that I've found to help me get over my ex was basically to keep busy and spend time with family and maybe take up hobbies that you've always wanted to do. You could also volunteer your time for good causes to keep your mind off of him. I still think about my ex occasionally but doing all sorts of different things has started to push her out of my life.
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A
female
reader, JavaJade22 +, writes (14 October 2010):
 Hes just rebounding, babe. Someone who rebounds isn't worth loving. I hate to sound like a parent, but there are so many other fish in the sea.
Open your eyes to the world around you, my dear. Look at the cute cashier at the grocery store or the hot guy who sits next to you in English. There are many MEN out there who will LOVE and CHERISH you for who YOU are. Obviously the person you were dating was an immature BOY.
Keep your chin up, it'll get better from here! I promise!
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A
male
reader, 1002Chas +, writes (14 October 2010):
Your first love will always be special. My first love still haunts me to this day. We never had sex, but I loved her and of course fantasized about having sex with her. We did a lot of sexy things and we were always talking about it, but never did the deed. We were both 16. I still have a pair of her panties that she gave me with a wink one night when I took her home after a nice date and a good make out session. She just reached under her dress and pulled them off and gave them to me with a wink. I will never get over her and I fantasize about her all the time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): I need to say this, first love's are the hardest to get over, they usually leave us with the deepest of cuts and pain and suffering. But you need to realize this, you need time away from him. Because right now you only see the good in who he was, you also need to see the other side to this person. I suggest getting out to the gym a few times a week, get your ego built back up. I know it sounds odd, but I personally like it when girls would check me out when I was getting over my first love. I also became in pretty good shape. Now don't be friends at the start, let time go by and if you want to in the future to be friends go ahead, but at the moment you are still very much in love with him so you need to give yourself space and time. Work out, focus on you, because you are the most important person in your life, not him not anybody else. Yes its self centered but right now you need to be :P. I hope this gets you on the right path. I won't say anymore because its up to you after this part. Get both your feet on the ground and take baby steps towards a new life goal.
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A
male
reader, Ricemonster  +, writes (13 October 2010):
 1) Time, 2) Good friends, 3) a Healthy lifestyle, 4) Adopt a kitten (Ricemonster Approved!)
Separate yourself from this so-called love you have/had for him. From the looks of your medium-sized post, it looks like you're trying to look for justifications to NOT get over him and find a way back into his life.
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