A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hiii My name is kev , and i'm 23I had a girlfriend before ( we had been knowing each other by chatting) , and nowadays i am alone , so i have been having problem in communicating with girls in face to face style and girls who are alien up to know but i am very comfortable with my female relatives .so these days in post graduate class i saw a girl who has stolen my heart :p Sometimes i've tried to speak her but , conversations were so formal and short .I think , i am not confident in these conditions , for example when we see each other in the class , i can't smile even cant say a simple hi ...In this situations My reactions is like you are not important for me and ...However i am so warm hearted and energetic guy .So please help me in this subject , i hope that i will defeat this weakness
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lo0o0o0ot
I should try and try and try ...
you know ! When i see animal's documentaries on Tv , i see how male animals effort for the female one , i think that i'm so sluggish , even they fight each other for their love !!! Then i say ( shame on me :D )
It's so hard for me but i'm harder ;)
And i will do my best ...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2013): Your post seems to be the theme of the week. People having social issues.
I can relate, because there are times that I myself become hindered by thinking I might fail trying to warm up to people; or fail to get someone I'm attracted to to take notice of me.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You have become dependent on hiding behind electronic devices as a way of interacting with people.
You feel that one mistake says everything about you. Maybe one time you embarrassed yourself. You have blown that single mistake out of proportion; and have declared yourself socially inept, and unable to talk to women face to face. Trust me, you can and you will. Just start practicing. You'll get better with time. Put that darn phone away.
When you meet a lady in-person; you have too much stuff spinning around in your head. All kinds of thoughts telling you that you're going to make a mess of things.
Your mind is going a mile (kilometer) a millisecond about how awkward you are; so how can you think of anything to say?
You shoot yourself down; because once or twice you got tongue-tied with a lady. So what? It happens to everyone.
Maybe you got rejected a few times. That doesn't mean you are hereby declared unapproachable and socially-challenged for the rest of your life.
You haven't met enough ladies in person to say you aren't good at it. You said so yourself.
It takes practice young man. Learning to stand up after being shot down. You won't always be interesting and perfectly charming. No one is.
You take the bull by the horns, you walk up to her and you say hi; without spinning a thousand reasons why she won't like you in your head; before she has a chance to hi back.
That's why you can't think of anything to say. You're too busy telling yourself why she will not like you. STOP IT!!!
Tell her how you are taken by her smile. It makes you a little nervous, but you just needed to come over and try and meet her. Invite her out for coffee. Ask her to be patient when you're a little nervous. She'll understand.
Then just relax. Smile and take her smile back to mean it's all okay.
Let conversation happen naturally. Don't worry about what you have to say. Stop thinking negative things about yourself. You are a nice guy. She'll figure it all out.
Tell her about yourself, then ask her about herself; and what she likes. Where she comes from. Let it all flow.
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A
female
reader, Probablylucy  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 Hi Kev!This sounds like a problem that is effecting you in a big way, it can't be nice to feel that you are not confident.Here's my advice:Girls, oddly enough, are humans too! I think too many people have this idea that men and women are totally different species. We're all the same underneath it all. Girls are humans with interests, every day problems, and normal conversations. Stop approaching the situation like 'She is a girl, and I am a guy.... I dont understand girls!!!'Talk to her with the mind set that she is just any other person. Its at least a start, and then once you have mastered the art of being relatively 'normal' around her, you can begin to get to know her a little better. She's probably as shy as you are. Moving from an online conversation to a 'real life' one is always daunting. She will feel as awkward as you do.I hope this helps in some small way. Best of luck!PL x
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