A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so my boyfriend and I broke up 2 months ago, but he says that we're on break. But we're still intimate. I have a jealousy of girls because all my boyfriends (except this one) has cheated on me. Naturally, I don't like girls now.So, my ex revealed to me 3 months ago that he had a secret friend (who is a girl, and lives 6 hours away that he met on the internet) and they met when he and I started dating. I wasn't so upset when he told me because I thought it was alright that she lived at a distance. I was more upset that he lied about it (when I asked him who it was).So, time goes on, and he was constantly picking up his phone for her and she'd ALWAYS call when I was with him and he even said, "Funny. She never calls when you're not here." He told me that she knows that he loves me, and he told her that he's with me.He claims that she's never flirted with him, or made any "innuendos".Anyway, my ex lives alone in his parent's house, and she asked if she could stay at his house for 4 days... He agreed and the plans were set. I got REEEALLY upset and said that I was uncomfortable. Not to mention, she somehow just made plans to live in the city next to us, and go to college there. So, last night he told her that he didn't think it was such a good idea for her to stay with him because I didn't like the idea.She said that if he can't be friends with her in person, she doesn't want to be friends with him at all, and just like that, he was deleted out of her life. Eight months of friendship.Now he's annoyed at me, and yelling at me about how it's my fault. Is it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2013): are you serious? if my boyfriend struck up a friendship with some random girl online, invited her to stay in his house platonic or not i wouldn't stay with him! I would find that very disrespectful and to be honest i would be thinking is he looking for something I'm not giving him, go find yourself a random guy online and invite him to your house see how he feels lol "sarcasm" he wouldn't be happy
so to answer your question no it's not he shouldn't have gotten so close in "friendship" with her in the first place!!!!! you should be mad and very hurt not him!!!
ps, your only hurting urself if your still sleeping with him, he's got you right where he wants you he reels u in and out when he feels like it, he's got his cake and us eating it too
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 No, I bet it has nothing to DO with you.
IF he DID tell her they couldn't meet up because it was making YOU uncomfortable then they WERE NOT "just" friends. Or at least SHE didn't think they were JUST friends.
If they aren't talking it's because something went down between them.
However, I have to ask WHY did you think it was your business so to speak to tell him who he can talk to and who he can't IF you two aren't together? Just curious.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 December 2013):
 "...we're on break.... But we're still intimate.."
ALERT: HE is on a "permanent" break... since he still has you for sex..... YOU seem to believe that this "break" is a temporary condition. IT'S NOT!!!!!!!
Just about everything in your submittal SCREAMS to me that you are extremely naive about men and relationships.
Perhaps YOU could take a "break"... from this cad... AND from any other guy(s)... for a while until/unless you figure out that "sex" and "relationship" are not interchangeable words....
Good luck....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not really asking about my relationship.
The point was that he respected my opinion to say to his friend that I was uncomfortable with her staying at his house. I just asked if it were my fault why they're not talking.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 December 2013):
You are no longer IN a relationship you are JUST twp people who USED to date having sex...
So that means in HIS eyes you have no right to be mad at WHO he talks to.
I will echo Auntie BimBim. WHY are you still sleeping with him?
People on a "break" TAKES a break from the relationship and each other to figure out if they WANT to go back and WORK on it - that is NOT what you two are doing.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 December 2013):
 Firstly, why are you sleeping with him when he is not your boyfriend.
Secondly, if you and he are broken up, regardless of if you are having sex or not, you have no right to say who he can, or cannot, be friends with.
It all sounds like a great big mess with blurred edges.
You need to decide if he is your boyfriend or not. He needs to decide if he is your boyfriend or not.
And, excuse the crudeness, but you both need to either shit or get off the pot.
Now, if you or him or both of you decide you are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend, then stop having sex and stop sticking your noses into each other's lives.
But if you BOTH, and it has to be BOTH of you, decide that you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then sort your crap out. If he wants to extend the hand of friendship to this girl, or any other person, they need to meet you as well, and anything that is said or done between them should be the sorts of things that could be said or done between them IN FRONT OF YOU AND MY DEAR OLD GRANNY!
That goes for any friends you might have as well.
You both need to grow up!
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