A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 18 years old, and i have known i was gay for a while now. I have yet to tell anyone about my sexuality and im worried that alot of my friends and family may not be ok with it. Particulary, the person i consider my best friend, i already think he is suspicious of my sexuality and i feel that he does not want to get too close to me. We hang out all the time, and i believe that i am in love with him, although it may just be because i know him so well, i am unsure. I want to tell him about my sexuality before saying how i feel, but i am worried that he will already disown me as a friend because i am gay. I know people say that if friends cannot accept you, they shouldnt be your friend, but im not sure how i would cope using this friend. My parent are the same, im not sure how i could tell them. My mother is very conservitive and my dad is fairly easy going, but i belive he frowns upon homosexuals. Who is best to tell first? Another friend? maybe a girl? How do i go about telling them? And how do i pluck up the courage? I've always thought that it would be fine and easy when i get older, but its getting to the point where its breaking my heart not being able to tell anyone how i feel, especially the one i love.
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male
reader, aim  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 hey bro. to put simply, the best person to tell about this is your best friend. really.
im 18 as well and i told my best friend a couple of months ago. she was definitely surprised for there's no speck of swish or mannerisms that show im gay (im perfectly straight-acting/masculine). then, she laughed at first coz she thought i was playing around. then until she told me, "if you're gay, why are u not wearing skirts or makeups?"
i just laughed real hard. and there, i explained stuff about the gay world. and now, we're closer than ever.
here's a teaser: when u are able to tell even just one person, the next will not be THAT much terrifying and intimidating.
oh, i havnt said anything about me being gay to my family. i just dont think its their business... haha. =)
A
male
reader, j_alst08  +, writes (7 October 2008):
 Im going through this now...I just meet this amazing guy and I have a feeling he is giving me mixed signals and I want to come out but I don't know what to do or how to do it, but I heard stories that he is bi, but he denied it. But idk what to do...any suggestions?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): hey, I am 15 and I'm gay. I was in the same situation as you. I new I was gay for a fact, and totally in love with my best friend. I knew he wasn't gay so I knew I coundnt go out with him. So one day I gathered up the courage to tell him. At first he didn't take it overly well. We wernt friends for a while and it got me really down because we were so close. We weren't friends for six months. During that time I thought about suicide several times and attempted once. After my friend saw what I was going through he reconsidered and thought about it. We are once again very close friends. The whole suicide thomd might not relate to you but if your friend doesn't react well give him some time and maybe he will come around. And if he doesn't then maybe he isn't ment to be your friend. But give it a go i'm sure he will take it well.Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2008): He man I was in the same boat for 17 years I never told anyone. Then I told my closet friend (He was very homofobic) he didn't care that I was as long as I didn't do gay things infornt of him. If you are truly good friends it doesn't matter and as for loving you best friend I love mine to. But don't push into anything with him take it slow and if he likes you (He might fight it at frist) but if he does he will show it to you.
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A
male
reader, ThePrince +, writes (4 October 2008):
 Hiya!
I went through a similar thing when I came out to my friends. I came out when I was 17 and I was always really scared about what peoples' reactions would be.
However, I do think that anyone who wouldn't accept you for who you are isn't really a true friend. I lost one of my best friends after I came out to him, (we're friends again now, but we've never been quite as close since) but plenty of my mates reacted really well!
So, don't panic. I know you don't want to lose anyone over coming out, and Im sure you're friend will understand and accept it x
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A
male
reader, zayn +, writes (4 October 2008):
 hey brother,
i've been where you are. when i was 18 i was in love with my best friend. he suspected i was gay and in a way he got off on the idea i think. but i was not dating girls any more and he had a girlfriend. so we got into an arguement when i got too physical and our friendship ended. i was heartbroken even though a year later we became friends again.
i thought i would never fall in love again. and i made the mistake of not following my heart. i avoided any gay guys for another 5 years. looking back i wish i had just let myself have sex with nice guys i could trust.
a gay man has to develop the inner strength that let's him be himself. things for gay men are better these days, but we still have to ignore and overcome some people prejudice.
be strong. tell him you are gay--but not that you love him, unless he loves you also. if he rejects you, suffer and grow. be open to guys who give you the signal that they are gay.
peace...
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808 +, writes (4 October 2008):
 What I have learned from my brother coming out when he was your age is that anyone wo can't accept you because of your sexual prefrence is not worth your energy. Anyone that judgemental is not worth having as a friend, and if a family member cant accept you, it is their problem, not yours. Some family members of mine were able to accept my brother after a year or so of him coming out, but my step dad never did. My step dad, however, is an awful person, not for prosecuting my brothers sexuality, but in general, so really, he wasnt worth my brothers time anyway. If the people in your life love you, they probably do unconditionally, and unconditionally means with no limits to who you are and what you believe in. As for your gentleman friend, be aware that not all guys are gay, and just because you are, dosnt mean all the fish in the ocean are for you (and that applies to ALL people). As a friend, you need to respect his sexuality and you would want him to respect yours. Let him know, but reassure him that you are not trying to push your sexuality on him at all, it is purely a friendship. If he has an intrest, he will let you know. If you ask my brother today, he will tell you, the best thing he has ever done was come out with it! And I have the "gay equal rights" sticker on my car to suppoert him in every way. I adore him! Good luck!
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