A
male
age
41-50,
*wen Johnston
writes:hi, im Owen. i'm 39 and i live in california. i have a thin 4 inch penis and haven't had sex in 15 years. i am also a premature ejaculator, and because of these things i am intimidated and nervous near women. i don't feel comfortable trying to date anyone so i am planning on buying a silicon love doll to be my girlfriend. i think i will feel safe and comfortable with a doll instead of a woman. what do you think of my decision? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2020): Your problem has nothing to do with penis size, you lack confidence and charisma and women sense this and shy away. You would be the same if you had a "normal" sized penis so the problem would continue. YOu are just using that as an excuse, blaming it so that you do not have to think about how you should be different with people.I once chatted to a man on the phone that I had never met or seen. He was a very strange old man and it was supposedly a business call. After a bit he asked me to meet him the day after for a drink. I said no. I said no because I have a great relationship already, I never mix business with pleasure, he was far too old and he was strange. But as with many men he wanted to have an excuse so that it was not his fault and he verbally attacked me saying I must be rejecting him because he has a wooden leg! I had no idea he had a wooden leg. But he much preferred to believe that and blame that each time someone decided that him being married or old or strange meant he was not worth meeting up with.As a therapist I have helped a lot of people with your sort of problem. It has nothing to do with how you look nor is it body dysmorphia. With body dysmorphia it is far worse! Those people rarely leave their home, they refuse to meet people, they cannot go out to work or go to a shop or have any sort of normal life. They hate to look in the mirror and much more. It is the exact opposite of vanity where someone who is plain might believe themselves to be incredibly handsome or beautiful. It can be cured, but you need a very good therapist and you need to give it time. It is a darn sight cheaper than paying for one of those dolls and in the long run you get a far better and more normal result.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2020): You're a human-being. You need touch, warmth, affection, and emotional-feedback. Getting a doll may be useful and temporarily novel; if all you want is sex, and nothing else. Unfortunately, you're not programmed to be that apathetic and isolated from the human-race. Only you don't need a human-sized Barbie doll; you need someone tender, loving, and understanding. If that's what you think will solve your problem, go ahead and waste the money. Your penis will remain the same size, you'll become a grown-man who plays with dolls, and you'll still be a lonely person.
Well-intentioned sympathetic-people will talk themselves into a bluefaced-tizzy trying to reassure you. Unfortunately, this form of body-dysmorphia usually requires therapy and self-esteem building. It also requires you to look at life as a whole-person; not just as a group of useless body-parts incidentally attached to a four-inch penis. You have a full-body. You can't make life-decisions strictly centered around your penis, my good-friend. If you're a little chubby, losing a few pounds helps sometimes. It's all about optics, not really what's happening down there.
Each and everyone of us responding to your message has some flaw or physical-imperfection that we have had to work-around, which makes us self-conscious or embarrassed. Maybe too embarrassed to even mention. We've learned to live with it. Some things cannot be corrected or enhanced by surgical-means; so we play the hand that nature has dealt us. Giving-up on love, falsely-believing physical-perfection makes or breaks the deal. I served in the military as a medical corpsman; I've treated injured soldiers who are amputees, and burn patients. God help those who thought like you, and just gave-up. It's understandable in their case, not yours! They've learned to overcome it, they live full-lives.
You're not the first man with a four-inch penis in the world, and you won't be the last. I think women have to contend with much more about you than the size of your member. They need to see kindness, confidence, intelligence, patience, and a sense of humor. They'll work with what you've got. Maybe not, if you offer them no more than a self-loathing insecure-man; who couldn't possibly project a better image of himself, or present a personality worthy of love and affection. If all he was concerned about is the size of his sex-organ! If one female can't deal with it; then keep searching, and find another. It is what it is!
Nothing anyone says here will have any impact on how you feel about yourself. You're over 30, and you've had all this time to work this out; and realize there's more to you to offer. You limit yourself, and make no effort to meet women; because you're obsessed with the size of your member. Don't blame women, it is you who has made his life so lonely and sad. Unnecessarily to-boot!!!
Talk to a psychologist to get a grip on your dysmorphia. Until you gain confidence and eradicate your self-hate; even the best advice from us is just a bunch of words on the screen of your device. If you practice faith, then you can also seek prayer and counseling through your place of worship; to lift your spirit, seek comfort, and feed your empty soul. I've seen far too many small penises at the gym, and when I was serving in the military. Many of these men were wearing wedding bands, and some guys I know aren't that well-endowed; yet somehow they've found wives, girlfriends, or boyfriends. They've even got kids! I suppose you're so unique that couldn't possibly happen to you? People always think their problem is unlike that of anybody else's. As if nobody in the world has ever overcome such a thing.
Seriously?!!
The reality is, whatever a person wants and needs; and whatever necessity dictates, they will do whatever it takes to find it! They won't settle for silicone-substitutes. Lazy-cynics, self-haters, and defeatists just surrender and give-up. That's the only reason they fail.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 October 2020):
Owen, some women obviously care about penis size. But some women also want you to be rich, or have a six pack, or be of a certain race, or a certain body type, or have a sexy accent, or to be macho, or be really nice, or WHATEVER. You're not going to be everyone's type, even if you had the penis of your dreams.
That being said, would you feel back if a woman you were attracted to said she couldn't date you because she only goes out with intellectuals and you're just an average guy? No, you'd find someone else. So don't go making yourself feel like shit because you don't have the penis size you'd like to have. Look for a woman, if you have sex and sense that it's not working for her, find someone else.
Have confidence in who you are by being the best version of yourself that you can be. Trust me when I say a silicone doll is not a substitute for a human. Don't reject yourself, that's the woman's job, lol!
Just a reminder, most guys, probably 65-75% wish they had a bigger penis. Most guys are average or near average though. Be thankful you don't have a micro penis I guess.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (23 October 2020):
 If that makes you happy darlin and you have the money to throw away...who are we to tell you no? I'll be honest I'd rather have a man have a silicone doll and pleasure himself than to be going around all creepy stalking women and possibly getting around and trying to rape them! I think its sad that you have pretty much given up on meeting a nice lady though. Sex isn't just about size. I realize men seem to think it is, but for the majority of women, size doesn't matter. Happy hunting if that's what you chose to do!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2020): I think it's very sad that you would give up on finding real companionship for a plastic doll. Most women's primary concern is personality, not penis size or sexual prowess. You have been single for 15 years but have you really tried to date? I mean REALLY tried. Groom yourself properly, get yourself a few nice going out clothes and then get out there and start meeting people and making friends. Somewhere along the way you will meet someone, I'm sure of it. If you are online dating, make sure YOU take the initiative to get chatting to girls and to meet up with them in person.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2020): Something I think you overlooked. The companies that make these sex dolls - the ones that look like a real person and not just a lump of lard - charge approximately $25,000 per doll.
Can you afford it?
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (22 October 2020):
 well i think that after the initial payment of buying a silicon love doll, i think she will be a relatively cheap date after that.
She won't answer you back, and you can watch as much football, and drink as much beer as you want. Yep, its a win win, go for it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2020): Personally I have never cared about penis size and I couldn't care less at which point in the proceedings a man will cum. As long as he makes ME cum. And I don't come via a penis, most women don't, all you need are some fingers and a tongue. BUT if you want to believe that ALL women are going to feel the way you THINK they feel about these things, then by all means go ahead and get a doll. Enjoy yourself, you only live once. Who knows, it may give you a bit of confidence handling a 'body'. Seems sad to give up on the real thing though when there are plenty of women out there who would probably be very glad to meet you. Women aren't perfect either you know. Oh and by the way, my last boyfriend who was VERY successful with women had a penis about the size you're talking about. And he always made me cum, but not with his penis, so who cares what size it is? Men care about this a lot more than women do. And as it's the centre of the male's pleasure, a lot of men can't get their heads round the fact (no pun intended) that it isn't the centre of our pleasure.
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