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female
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anonymous
writes: i know i'm young, i'm fourteen, everyone tells me this boy isnt worth it, but to me he means the world and i would do anything for him even though he doesnt feel the same. I went out with him 3 years ago and haven't gotten over him since, i don't know what to do or how to get over him because having other boyfriends doesn't help. I've even hurt myself over it..please help me...i'm desperate for some help x Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2006): i don't know if this will help but... when i was 14 i started going out with my first bf until i was 16. then he dumped me.i just couldn't get over him. everything reminded me of him. but he got a new gf and made it clear he didn't want me bk. so i realised i had to move on, after all i was only 16. so i started going out with my friends more often, to the cinema and the park and anywhere else we fancied. eventually over time i forgot about him. i still had the memories of him in my head and my heart, and the gifts from him and all the photo's. but i just had to accept that he wasn't the one for me. eventually after almost a year i finally got over him (after endless one night stands-which i would NEVER advise doing). i was single young and having a great time.
A
male
reader, gungass +, writes (15 July 2006):
Whilst I can only speak from a boy point of veiw,I can and do understand the way you feel about this Ex Boyfriend.You state that it was 3 years ago since you went out with him, making you 11 yrs old!!at the time.
you must put the obsession with this Ex and make new friends.friends that will help you meet the challenges of life,plus help you meet new potential boyfriends.
And If. only If the ex boyfriend returns to your life then you will not have sat waiting just for him.
enjoy your life while you can.dont be into to much of a hurry to tying yourself down.you will forget the Ex.If he doesnt wish to return.
Please do not harm yourself.talk to someone.a friend.your parents or siblings.teacher ect.but dont be alone.
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A
female
reader, jezibelinhell +, writes (14 July 2006):
 I'm so sorry sweetheart...love can really stink sometimes. You may be only 14, but I know from personal experience that your feelings are very much real. The guy I dated when I was 14 turned out to be my first husband and the father of my oldest daughter. She was born when I was 15. The nurse that gave me the test results said to me "My god! You're a baby having a baby!" I remember how angry and belittled I felt. Now, at 39, I can honestly say that my feelings were no different or less real then the emotions I feel today, but when I look at my teenage children, I know what that nurse meant too. As for your particular situation...I can only tell you that you can never make someone love you that doesn't. But I can also promise you that there have been men in my life that I considered hurting myself over that I now wonder what I ever saw in them in the first place. As we age, our tastes and our needs change. And time truly does heal all wounds. And always remember "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." At 39, I feel like Wonderwoman! NO man is worth hurting yourself over. You have the brightest of futures ahead of you. Think about the changes you could make in this very messed up world. I give you all the credit in the world for reaching out here for advice. It's a sign of strength. You are obviously NOT a quitter! Have you tried having a heartfelt talk with your parents or another family member? My family wasn't the supportive type so I understand that might not be an option for you. Before you consider doing yourself harm, PLEASE try to talk to someone. Even if it's a school councelor. I know now what I would have missed out on if I had given up at your age. I'm so very glad I didn't. Message me anytime and let me know how you're doing. You remind me of me :)
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