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age
26-29,
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writes: I'm worried about what to do about my two friends. The background info is that last time my friend who I will refer to a 'Beth' had a boyfriend my other friend who I will call 'Cyndi' started sleeping with him at the same time. They both fell out big time and now hate each other.Today a rumour reached Beth about Cyndi doing things in the girl's toilets with her Beth's ex boyfriend and Beth is furious about it. Of course everyone is stirring and making it worse and both girls have been in tears about the whole issue. Cyndi hasn't touched Beth's ex and would never do anything with him as they are close friends and have been for years, I already know what happened between him and Cyndi and I know the rumour is a lie because I was partly involved in it all (her dad has been diagnosed with cancer and me and Beth's ex were talking to her about the issue).The problem is Beth is devastated and won't listen to me when I try to explain, she even said 'if you talk to her and be her friend I'll fall out with you' How am I supposed to explain to Beth what happened and help Cyndi? I want to be there for both but they are both making it hard.Any advise would be amazing. Thanks you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much, that's really helped :) I have to say it, I'm sick of childish rumours and pathetic gossip in high school. So thanks, I'll be sure to try everything and sort this as best as possible and if that means losing Beth because she's being childish then tough.
Thanks x
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (13 May 2011):
 So Cyndi never slept with Beth's now ex boyfriend, right? If Cyndi actually did then Beth has every right to hate her and you shouldn't try fix an issue that can't be fixed.However, if these are all nothing but vicious rumors then there's still a chance to mend this. I say you text each girl, and tell them to meet you somewhere, at a certain time. This needs to be a setting where all 3 of you can talk privately. Make sure that they both think it's just you they're conversing with. When you have them both in front of you..lay everything out on the table. Tell them that you're absolutely sick of trying to mediate this nonsense. Explain that these are nothing but vicious, immature high school rumors and that they can squash this fight like adults now. Or continue on to not speak to each other, but make it very clear that you will still be friends with the both of them. See how that goes. It's rather unfair of Beth to try to make you choose between her or Cyndi. Hate to say it but if she's going to be that childish then you're better off not being friends.
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reader, Miamine  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Not your problem. If anyone tries to blackmail you into friendship, then walk away, they are not worth it. Continue talking to both of them. If Beth wants to pretend to be deaf and torture herself then all you can do is watch as she walks away to cover herself in unhappiness. Until she is willing to listen and forgive, there is nothing you can do.
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reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Argh you are caught up i a horrible situation and they shouldnt be involving you it is between the both of them not you. Ok well as for this Beth girl she needs to grow up, she cannot tell you who to talk to and who not to. Next time you see her tell her that you are both there friends and it has nothing to do with you and you want to be kept out of it be straight with her and tell her you are going to be friends with Cyndi wether she likes it or not and if she falls out with you well then that is her problem not yours. As for Cyndi it sounds like she is going through a hard enough time without people spreading rumours about her, just be there for her as a friend as much as you can be and try and not get caught up with all the hassle between her and beth its there problem so try and not get yourself stressed over it. Good luck.
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reader, spinnaker +, writes (12 May 2011):
 Sorry to hear you are caught in the middle of this quagmire and the more you try to help the worse things get. Keep in mind that you can only help those who wish to be helped. IT sounds like the dust still needs to settle on this fiasco. My advice would be to hang back until things settle down and then go out with your friends as friends and not as some problem solver. If the topic comes up, so be it, but you will not help anyone unless they are seeking it.
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