A
female
age
30-35,
*xAngelDust89xX
writes:I just had my daughter four months ago and ever since I got pregnant my entire personality has changed...for the worse!!! I used to be a happy go lucky get along with everyone kinda of person and now i am depressed and angry and rude an sarcastic and all those things. I dont want to be this way!!!! I try to be the way i used to be but i dont know if im just not trying hard enough or what. I want to be my old self again because the person i am now is killing my marriage. Any advice????XxAngelDust13xX
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female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (13 March 2008):
XxAngelDust89xX is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you all for your wonderful advice.
i plan to go to the doctor as soon as i get done moving to TN.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): To me, you sound totally exhausted and a bit overwhelmed.
Because of that possibility, your just not coping too well, at the moment.
When we become Mums, it's a huge responsibility, and quite scarey until we know what we are doing and feel confident.
Your first child is always a major life changing experiance, and this is what your experiancing right now. Your life has changed, but it does not mean that this is how it is going to be all the time.
You haven't lost yourself, but are evolving into the women you are going to be. You have only being doing this job for a very short time and still learning to cope. Because all of these feelings are hitting you, you feel out of control it gets scarey and you think your lossing it.
It is easy enough to loose the happy go lucky streak for a bit, but it's not gone altogether, it's just on holiday at the moment until you get yourself organised and sorted in your new environment.
Don't beat yourself up or feel you are becoming something your not happy with, this is how you are reacting to the stress and perhaps depression. Ask for help from others and have a rest.
Try to identify all your feelings which are out of control and angry, write it down, identify when your feeling happy and relaxed and right that down. What you will start to discover are the triggers and patterns when things go out of control in your emotional state. You will soon start to know, when your not GOING to handle things instead of it being a surprise. You will work out whether it was a difficult day with the baby, perhaps you had little sleep the night before extra, then you will be better able to work out how to understand your emotions. You'll start to have move control over what, when and how you can handle things day to day.
I am a great beleiver that a mother needs to have some time and space out, just to get back up the strength.
No-one ever said you need to be superwomen, no new mother is ever superwomen and if they say they are - they are fibbers. Most of us don't cope until we know what we are doing!
When that day comes soon for you, your joy with be endless and like nothing you have felt before. You will understand true, pure unconditional love, which is a gift.Get excited about all the lovely things you are soon to be doing with your baby.
That 6mth age was georgeous, for me, then there is the walking and crawling stage which just makes you giggle! Lots and lots of joy to come.
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A
female
reader, youngandconfused90 +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Having children really takes a toll on your body. It not only effects the outside but also the in. It sounds like to me you could be suffering from postpartum. No matter how hard you try to fight it, you cant do it alone. You should talk to your doctor and don't feel embarrassed because it very common. When i had my son i went through the same thing and over a years time i was completely back to myself. Has far as your husband goes you should talk to him about the way you feel and go to the doctor together, so that he also knows whats going on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Hi
Having children is the most rewarding and difficult thing we woman will ever do.
Suddenly we have someone who totally depends on us for EVERYTHING!
What you need is support from your husband and get as many friends, relations to help out. It's not just your responsibility so make sure hubby is doing his fair share of the work load.
With support you will get the rest and eating properly.
Talk about how you feel to a good listener.
Remember motherhood is stuff and your not the first to feel this way.
If all the above does not work then ask your Doctor for help from a professional heath visitor or psychologist.
Praying might help but I found god not very practical!
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Hi,
Sorry to say, but it can take months to get back to normal after having a child. Dont worry or beat yourself up though, you will eventually get back to how you were. Go and tell your doctor how you feel, and he may be able to give you something.
I had a Marina coil fitted a couple of years ago, although it was for a different reason. But I was like you, my personality had really changed. I'm sure the doctor will be able to help you, so dont worry, I'm affraid its all part of being the superior sex LOL. XX
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 March 2008):
 It sounds like post-partum depression. You need to visit your doctor and tell him how you are feeling. There are medications available for this and will be of huge help. Good luck, honey and tell us what he/she does for you.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 You could be under too much stress.
Go for some exercise which will de stress you and make you feel better.
Have enough sleep and eat a balance diet.
Make sure you are not over worked.
Lastly if nothing works , look for God.
He will take away your burdens.
Good Luck and take care.
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