A
male
age
26-29,
*ifeless13
writes:So, I'm 15 and sexually confused. I've only kind of liked one girl I've known, and that was this one brilliant/beautiful/charismatic girl that I knew in kindergarten, and I didn't even know her very well. Now I'm in highschool, and I don't think I've ever really been attracted to anyone (guy or girl), and starting to wonder if I ever will (or if I'm just going to be a psycho or sociopath). When I'm in my room and uhmm... "doing private things", I'm always getting off on men (significantly more often than women), so I'd figure I'm gay (or bi). At school however, I don't feel remotely attracted to anyone. I try to play it off like I'm hetero though. I try not to give off any vibes, and in a way, I am being myself. At school, I am myself, and at home, I behave like myself, but sometimes I think my behavior varies quite a bit based on the surrounding people.I of course want to be more heterosexual, so I could just avoid the complications of people weirding out because I'm gay... and gay people usually seem kind of awkward/abnormal, and I don't want to stick out of social norms any more than I have to.I also know that with all the hormones coursing through my body, as a crazy teenager, I have the libido of a fruitfly, which won't help my decision making at all, and I probably won't be able to reach a simple, solid conclusion on anything until well after I've matured more in college.... so my social rejection paranoia is kind of high...Any advice or coming out suggestions would be helpful! Thanks guys!
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male
reader, Lifeless13 +, writes (27 January 2011):
Lifeless13 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys... I think I might do that too sometimes, being friendly and distracting attenetion from my orientationAnd I did talk to an "experienced" guy at my school, and he also told me that I just need to experiment and see what I like. He helped me with part of that, but I've also kissed girls (during Truth and Dare). I really didn't see any difference between the two situations. Both genders have lips, and when it's just initiated by T+D, kisses from either sex are just empty!I don't even like any girls relationship-wise that I'd want to date, and I only know one gay, and we're not really compatible...I don't really want to date anyone, partially because of annoying rumors, but I also hate the complications. Losing a friend afterwards, the large potential for heartbreak. Why bother, when it's just going to hurt me? I don't think I have the mental capability to uphold a relationship anyways. I don't like to be an emotional dump, but I'm not all that bright nor useful alot of the time.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): Im also 15 and bisexual although i havent maneged to get an erection over a girl for nearly 2 weeks but anyway i have not come out and am in a similar situation to you apart from there are a few guys who catch my eye at school and thinking about them turns me on but there is nothing to worry about. Its normal for people to be gay/ straghit/ bi whatever and a lot of people just go through phases whereas i have liked boys for 2 years and at first i thought it was just a phase but turns out for me it wasnt. But good luck!
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A
female
reader, shnookims  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 OK... well I dated a gay guy, as messed up as that sounds. I think I was his beard and after I dumped him because he cheated on me.. WITH A GUY... I realised I shouldn't have been surprised.
You want people to think you're heterosexual,most gay guys i know who want that draw the attention away from their sexuality by being really really friendly with everyone and keeping people's attention focused on other things. I have known four guys who only came out in their 20's but before that I had neevr thought abot whether they were gay or not because they were just super active and really funny and fun. Looking back, if the'd given me the chance to think about it, I would've said they were gay. So that's what i think you should do. If you're not out going just focus on other things such as school or extra mural activities.
At the same time though, stop putting so much pressure on yourself to find a place. i recommend experimenting a bit. i know a lot of people who dated men and women to find where they belonged but i also know alot of people who only started dating out of school and they weren't the "losers" of the school either.
hope i've helped, evn a little. I realise how overwhelming this can all be. :)
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