A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel a bit stupid writing this at all, even if it is anonymous, but the thing is I am going crazy, and it is starting to make me unhappy.I don't really know where to begin, but basically I am in love with someone I work with.I have been working there just over a year and a half and in that time we have gotten quite close. I have felt like I loved him for nearly a year.I know people use the word love lightly, but I really do, for the last year I have thought about him several times a day, I can't wait till I see him, and I am the happiest when I am with him, even though this is just work!I am almost sure he feels something for me, he is a very nice person to everyonre (quite quiet) but especially nice to me, he flirts subtly and has done extremely kind gestures like always waits for for my lift to come, and even drove me home ( a long way) when I had to catch the bus. He is often asking about if I like anyone in college.The problem is he does have a girlfriend and have been together four years. I only found this out a few months ago as he had never mentioned her!They live together (with his family not their own house)and I think she is the only relationship he has ever had, he's in his early 20's.I have tried my best to get over it, even had short relationship with someone else, but ended it as just wasnt happy.What can I do? Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): you say you had become quite close but he didn't mention his girlfriend! Men and women flirt at work all the time it passes the time. He probably didn't tell you he had a girlfriend because he was enjoying your attention. We are all human and therefore get off on flattery and attention it strokes our egos and makes us feel good. See it for what it seems to be, workplace fun. As a general rule if a man wants you he will at some point voice his feelings even if he is normally shy. I'm sorry but I think you need to move on, go out with your girly friends and enjoy life, don't continue to obsess about him. good luck xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to those who replied.
However not sure if the replies have been that helpful. I have had crushes before and this is totally different. Also most of your advice has been stop thinking about him and get over it, obviously I have tried this over the past 18 months!
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A
female
reader, jewlstep4174  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 you need to move on and you need to move on fast. This situation is not healthy for you and that this person is in a relationship with someone else. regardless if he talks about his relationship he is in one and you know it. I wouldnt do anything and try to focus on something or someone else. You need to try to get your mind off him, its the only healthy thing to do. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (25 April 2012):
 Think about this: You finally get the nerve to tell him how you feel, and the two of you make a genuine committment to each other. Later due to company policies he changes jobs and now works at another office across town. You move in with him. You're in love with him. Everything is going terrific. Until.....there's this girl at his office that falls for him. She thinks he's really sweet and funny and notices that he does nice things for her and she has developed feelings for him. Now he comes home to you every night, asks about your day. Talks about things he did at his new job, you know the one across town. But he never once mentions the little sweetie in his office who's developing a huge crush on him. She knows he has a girlfriend (you) and she knows you two live together but every chance she gets, she finds reasons to work closely with him. Sometimes they even go out for lunch. How would that feel?................................
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 April 2012):
 It sounds more like a crush or slight obsession then actual love.
I don't know how you can easiest "snap" out of it, other then realize that it's NOT going to happen between you two and that you don't know him as well as you thought you did.
And get out and meet new people ( I don't say date but meet)
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