A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to be a proper family but he cant commit. My partner and i have been together 7yrs, we have 2 young kids who are 6 and 3. The problem is we have never lived together properly. My kids behaviour isnt good and i blame this situation for it. He has always lived with his mum, she had cancer for a yr and recently passed away. I am a part time working mum so they both looked after my kids a few evenings together. After she passed he came and stayed with us and we have had to change the routine. The thing is he seemed really keen for us all to be together and finally be a proper family. His mum had left him her home and his said he wanted to sell it and move in with us. I recently heard a conversation in which he was having with a friend and he discribed his home as his bolt hole. I was upset by that comment and told him so, during this arguement he accused me of giving him a life he didnt want and he said he was too old for it all, he is 42, i am 36. Any way the feeling i get he is just using me as a convience now his mum has gone and commitment is something he cant do. I have told him how i feel and he just blames my evening job and me for this messy relationship. Am i just wasteing my time on this man. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (28 June 2011):
Unfortunately I think he really doesn't want to be with you. He said you gave him a life he didn't want. that's pretty telling.
you should let him go, he won't make a good husband when he's only doing it resentfully and hating it most of the time. this is not a "proper family" - a proper family is one that is together happily and voluntarily.
start envisioning a new and better life without him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 June 2011):
I'm sad to say that you are wasting your time on this man. His whole life, he seems to have been weighted on by his mother. I think it's very likely that you are more of a convenience than someone he loves and cares for.
And I have to say, if I overheard my girlfriend say that her house was her bolthole from me, and if she said I was forcing a life down her she didn't want, I'd ditch her.
To be honest, this man sounds like a coward. Ditch him.
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