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female
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anonymous
writes: About two months ago i was chatting online to a work colleague, he is about 25yrs older than me. After a while it became obvious he had had a few to drink and was suggesting some rather sexual things.Because of my personality i played along but he started telling me how he hadnt had sex for 15 years and how unhappy he was. Since that night i have started seeing him in a new light and at work we are very flirty, i desperately want something to happen between us but i dont know how to approach it. I know the age gap is big but i cant sop thinking about him. What shall i do...he is married but he says it is a sexless marriage.
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female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (14 April 2006):
People can say anything they want but you will never know what happens behind closed doors. Stop and think about what you many be doing. Think about his wife, do you want to be the other girl? I think you should just move on and find someone who isn't married.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2006): !!!!!!!!!!! STOP !!!!!!!!!!! yourself right now and read what willywombat has written over and over again until it sinks in. Mean are huge liars and will do anything to convince you it is a good idea. Remember he still lives with his wife and presumably has children so things cannot be that bad. Put yourself in his wife's shoes and ask if you would like. Do you want to be responsible for the break up of a marriage and family. Will it all feel so good after you have had sex with this older man and you realise all he wanted was a bit on the side ????
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (13 April 2006):
 All men who are after a *bit on the side* tell their prospective *conquests* that their marriage is 1. loveless, 2. sexless, 3.meaningless......they also tell the person they hope to get a bit of rumpy with that 1. you understand, 2. i really connect with you, 3. I ahve never had sex as good as this before.
Lets look at this in a couple of ways shall we.
He says he hasn't had sex for 15 years...how old are his kids, presuming he has any? And if he doesn't have kids why does he stay in a sexless and loveless marriage? Sounds a bit *jayne eyre* to me!
If he is so unhappy, why ahsnt he got out of his *dreadful* marriage? Because he isn't actually that unhappy is he!
I had a friend who used to tell girls that he didnt know/wasnt sure if he was gay/bi....do you want to know why? Because girls would FALL OVER themselves trying to prove he was straight, and that is the same thing this guy is doing to you here! He is making you belive you are the girl who is gonna fix him and make him happy and shiny again! Please don't fall for this. If you do I can guarrantee in a couple of weeks you will post a letter on here saying 'I thought he loved me but it turns out he was just USING me'
Dont even go there sweetie, it's not worth the heartache.
xx
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