A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey just need abit of advice. Me and my partner have sex at least once a week, but i want to have more so everyday after i do ask if shes up for it but all she says is shes too tired been working go play with yourself i used to work alot of hours 4 years ago im now a house husband of 4 so i get really tired plus i have vitamin d and b12 defisancy but im always wanting sex. It does start arguments cuz i think shes seing someone else. Today i said im sexually frustrated and its her day off work she did say i can have sex with her tonight do i do it or do i just say sorry love too tired?
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female
reader, Xena Bee  +, writes (3 September 2017):
If you have sex at least once a week like you say, it sounds like she's at least trying. If she promises you sex, why not let her follow through? If she does, treat her like a princess and show her how appreciative you are. The whole exhaustion thing with work and kids is real. It certainly is not realistic--or even reasonable-- to expect sex every day if that's your life. Telling her "no" might make you feel like you have your power back, but is it solving your problem? IMO, it would cause more problems by confusing her and making you look unreliable and bitchy--not exactly a turn on for a woman.Things change when the kids are older and require less from their parents. If you have been good to her and you have not made her feel awful for putting you off a few days a week, she may have the energy and desire to have a go more often.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 August 2017):
 She has already gone off sex altogether. And when sex is less than once a month, she ended it long ago.
The only advantage to rejecting her sexually is returning to a position of power. If you want your power back, you need to be financially independent, and significantly lower your sex drive.
It would be a good idea to think hard about what it is you really want most.
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (6 August 2017):
Ok having come from a relationship where I had the lower libido, fair warning that this answer is going to reflect that...
Honestly, I've now been single for two years and your answer completely brought back all the stress and pressure I felt when my boyfriend used to ask me for sex constantly. Seriously. I can feel it through my computer screen, so can you imagine the level of pressure you are putting on your partner every day? I'm not trying to have a go at you here, because I do understand that being frustrated must suck. But I also know that I was having sex with my bf 1-2 times per week and that slowly dwindled away to once a fortnight, then once a month, before I eventually ended things with him. Not only because of the sex, but it was a big part of it. I literally grew to dread sex, because I felt like it was all he wanted me for.
He didn't care if I was tired or stressed. He didn't ask how my day was or how I was feeling. He didn't even seem that bothered about having sex with ME, he was just horny/frustrated and I felt like a means to an end.
Tell me, do you ever spend time giving your partner or attention WITHOUT wanting it to lead to sex? I may be wrong but I'd guess no and you know what, that's the biggest libido killer ever! It sounds like she has a lower libido anyway, but propositioning her because you're horny or sexually frustrated will leave her feeling like a human w**k aid rather than someone you desire and love because of who she is, not because you want a release.
One question is ask you, is it possible the sex you are having isn't quality enough? Perhaps you could try to make the one or two nights a week you do have sex more satisfying (as in, about deepening your connection with the woman you love rather than about getting you off) and it might take the edge off?
I also think you need to have a serious chat with her. Not when you're horny. A chat about expectations. If you want every day and she wants once a week maybe she'd agree to compromise at say three times a week on the condition that you'd not approach her every day? Because trust me, if you keep going the way you're going, she WILL go off sex altogether. It'll seem like another chore to add to her list.
Finally, perhaps you need to get a hobby that gets you outside of the house? Your post reads a little like you're waiting for her to get in then looking for attention from her (in this case sexual), so perhaps it's also driven partly by boredom since you're stuck at home all the time?
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