A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys, I'm having some mixed signals interpreting my boyfriend and would be happy for any advice and input. thanks. :) basically the story goes like this: my boyfriend and i (both 21) met a month ago and kicked it off from the first date . we have tons of things to talk about, lots of common personality traits and ways of thinking and basically- everything required chemistry-wise for a good relationship. the first few weeks we saw each other frequently /about 3-4 times per week/ and he would text and call at least once a day /and i also would in return/. im usually not a big fan of this, but i decided to make an exception and not seem like a coldhearted bastard. :p anyway, for the a little more than a week he hasn' t really been contacting me that often and usually i have to make the first call or text /which i have no problem with, except its starting to feel like he's losing interest and i'm just following him like a puppy/. or for example, calling him- but he's in a meeting and can't talk now, and then he does not call back for 8+ hours. now, i've never been a fan of serious relationships and the few i had were, mildly put- just not right, so i can't compare objectively. i can' t figure out if this behaviour is normal or he is losing interest in me. when i met with his friends he introduced me as a friend, whcih was kinda weird, but i can also understand it. otherwise, when we are together the chemistry is there, we talk, fool around, everything is "the way it should be", and i think he also has serious intentions about me. my problem is that i feel like i'm falling for him /or already have/ and don't want to be dissapointed and led on if he is just with me to fill up his free time. i also don't want to seem like a clingy, needy freak and suffocate him with attention and calls because i know how unattractive that is. so my question is: do you think his lack of interest could be a bad sign- should i be worried? and is it better to continue being cool this and see what happens next or simply to ask him if he is losing interest or something else changed. thanks a lot guys, and advice would be appreciated!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, Poppy :)
i am trying to be cool about it... i guess sometimes i tend to over-think and over-analyse a given situation untill i start to freak out. its very posslible he's just busy and doesn't have as much time, but in my eyes it feels weird to go from texts and/or calls everyday /as is with you/ to me having to contact him most of the time. otherwise i'm fine with not calling/ texting everyday. i just don't wanna lose him or push him away by being too needy.
so, to sum up: yes, i'll act 'manly' and wait for him to call, but if this behaviour continues on down the road, i'll definitely ask him what's going on. i have no problem being straightforward.
cheers!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): The problem is that with a situation like this, nobody is a mind reader. My boyfriend and I live together but we still txt and call everyday when we're not together. Some people find that to be weird but its what is normal for us. Your problem could be one of two things. It could be that this lack of contact is going to be the "norm" with this relationship, or it cud be that he is trying to cool it off. Im afraid hunny that the only things you can do is stick it out and see where it goes, or ask him outright if everything is okay? best of luck with this hun.
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