A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in this 6 month relationship at this moment. My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately. He tends to freak out over the smallest things or nothing at all. We started good until he accused me of cheating because someone else told him I'm cheating. I never cheated and that's not who I am. Ever since that day we've fought over him giving me attitude over a simple question about his day or a picture of me in my graduation dress, which is not revealing at all. After each argument, he apologizes and pulls me along. I don't think this relationship is worth my breath anymore. The last major argument we had...I told him it was over...and he threatens me and his own life. I got scared and worried. I gave in to him and took him back because I wouldn't want that type of guilt on my hands, even if he was bluffing or not. I want him to get help. I don't know what to do. I feel trapped and emotionally abused every time he gets angry. His anger is directly stemmed from issues with his parents. His father left when he was young and his mother never loved him and played favorites between him and his sister. I wish I can help, but this is a situation I don't have experience in.This relationship is not healthy for me. I've been getting physically sick because of it. How can I leave this relationship without having him feel that way again? How can I get my own strength to do it? Please help me. I'm desperate.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2010): You need to absolutely forget about this emotionally retarded abusive fools feelings. You're not responsible for his life or his problems and he's emotionally blackmailing you to stay with him, so he's an asshole too. What about your feelings? He doesn't care about them so why should you care about his?
Just leave, you can't find the strength because you pity him when in reality there's nothing to pity. You need to realize that he's taking all his problems out on you, then when you threaten to leave he uses pity as a tool to blackmail you into staying, he's doing this on purpose too. Is that really someone who deserves your pity? No, you need to look at his behaviour and learn to despise him for it, in your situation you'll find strength from anger, how the hell can he treat you like this?
So what if he says he's going to be devestated if you leave and hurt himself and all that other crap. He's not going to do any of that and if he does then that's his problem not yours, you've done nothing wrong. The only thing you're doing wrong is letting this guy destroy you time to think of yourself first, you can't help him because he doesn;t want to be helped and even then we ca only ever help ourselves.
Run, run as far away from this loser as you can.
Have a read of this, you'll see what kind of person he is, the game that he is playing, don't feel bad for him, get angry instead he's treating you like piece of sh*t!
http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 June 2010):
You have the strength right now. You've come for help, which is a great start. The next thing you need to do is talk to your parents, teachers and other adults who are around you and tell them that you want to end it but that he has threatened your life and his own. The majority of the time, those sorts of threats are a bluff. But there are times where they are real, so you need to make sure people know so that you're protected. Then, with the help of the adults around you, split with him IMMEDIATELY and do not go back, no matter what. You can't help him at all. He has to help himself. But you must get away from him now. What he then does after you've split is up to him, and has NOTHING to do with you AT ALL. Make sure adults know what you're going through, and then get away from him.
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