A
male
age
36-40,
*yinfamousself
writes:I am in love with my ex, who is the mother of my daughter, and who is also married. I am at a complete loss as to what to do. She tells me that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but I dont know if I should believe it. We split because I was drinking to much and becoming a jerk, since, I have quit drinking and all other activities of that nature because it made me lose the one thing I loved most in this world. While i was gone in rehab, she married her first childs father...a man whom I had many problems with...she told me she married him because she needed a place to live and such and that was his only offer. Since she has no family, I believe her and I know adam well enough to know that is something he would do. She has maintained constant yet secretive contact with me, and continues to express her love to me...So my question, should I believe what she is saying? Should I do as she wants and go back and steal her away from this unhappy marriage?
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 "She tells me that she still loves me and wants to be with me."
Those are only mere words. If she means it ,she should seek a divorce from him . It would prove that her intentions are real.
Actions speak louder than words.
Is she wanting and eating the cake at the same time ?
A
male
reader, myinfamousself +, writes (21 February 2010):
myinfamousself is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses guys... Laura, I do love her as much before, if not more, that is why I am so conflicted and confused. But she did have a choice, it might have been a difficult one, but in the end she didn't have to say yes to him. She chose to marry him, and they have been married for a year 5 days ago. And she seemed happy with it up until about a month or so ago. Caring guy, that is precisely my point. I do love her but how can I trust that she might leave me or do to me what she is doing to Adam right now. And I do need to be there for my daughter, but Adam is going to be there all the time where as I can only be there for portions of time, and he is a bad person. He has horrible morals and even worse values. So, you tell me... do I suck it up and leave her and my daughter in a bad situation, or do I put my neck and heart on the line at a shot at saving them.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (20 February 2010):
Do you still love her as much as like before ?
She did not have a choice then because that was the only offer she got.
If she is not happy , she should leave her marriage and get a divorce. That would be a better way for all.
Sometimes a woman cannot leave a marriage because she is scared of the unknowns....
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2010):
Don't believe a word. You don't know that she won't use you. If she wanted you, she would have ended it and come back to you of her own accord. Don't fall for it. You'll never be able to trust that she won't do it to you. Instead focus on your own life and that little daughter of yours who will need you to be a good Dad.
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