A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy on a dating site about 3 months ago. We have met about 8 times and get on really well. After the first date he said that although he fancied me he would prefer to become good friends and see what happened. I was fine with that but we were still kissing and holding hands so there was an obvious attraction. About a month ago I told him that I needed to know if we were ever going to be more than friends and he reluctantly said yes he would like me to be his girlfriend. It didn't feel right as I knew I was forcing the issue so i told him I would rather take things back to how they were. We are still meeting and holding hands, kissing etc but clearly neither of us are ready for sex yet. Also he doesn't seem to send me many texts or phone very much but is always very attentive when we do meet. Help! Am confused about what's happening here. Does he like me or are we destined to stay as friends. I do want more than that but not sure show to play it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Well, there could be a couple of things going on. He could be a sweet guy who likes to take things really slowly. He may have been burned in the past and has resolved to not repeat the mistakes of rushing into things.
He could be a player, and this is all part of his plan to play hard to get thereby making you want him more.
He could be in a relationship, and wants to keep you as a "friend" so that his significant other doesn't think too much about it.
My gut tells me it's likely the first scenario I laid out, but I have no way to tell for sure. One thing is certain, if you are just friends, that usually doesn't involve kissing and hand holding. It is a sign that he wants to advace the relationship, he just doesn't know when.
A
female
reader, cocoqueen88 +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Sounds like he only wants to see you casually and he's probably seeing other people. So if you are looking for something more and he clearly is not then move on. The worst kind of relationship is one that is forced. And FYI don't be fooled by the hand holding and kissing. If he's not telling you "Hey I want you to be my woman" then it's not happening.
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