A
female
age
41-50,
*ally11
writes:I have been in an on and off (mainly on) relationship for 9 years with a guy I truly adore. He makes me laugh, we know each other inside out, we have the same goals etc. But I am 25 now, and I am ready for our relationship to be a lot more serious - marriage and kids etc. I know he wants all this too - just not yet. If anything he is actually becoming more immature - he goes out clubbing at least twice a week, spends a lot of time with his friends.I want more commitment from him. We can talk about anything, but I don't want to bring this up as I know that kinda thing scares him!!! I want to settle down now, but how do I get him to do the same without it seeming like I wanna take over his whole life and stop him from doing the things he loves??Help me!
View related questions:
clubbing, immature Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, garp +, writes (28 February 2008):
This guy, if he's sliding off to clubs, needs a severe talking to. Just be straight with him, don't expect him to understand hints or inuendos. As a man myself, I can do hard sums, fix broken cars and ski confidently down mountains. Ask me what my lovely wife is thinking and I'm stumped! e don't want people to skirt around the issue. Just tell him, in a secure environment and he'll get the picture.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 just because you want more commitment, doesnt mean he has to give up his life. is that wat you would want? he is still young, so its normal that he wants to go out and enjoy himself. if you think that he does really love you and wants to be with you, then talk to him and tell him that you would like to start talking about moving forward. have you moved in together? if not then this could be a good place to start. but explain to him that you love that he still enjoys going out, and has so many friends. this way it wont seem like you are pulling him out of his social life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Ask him to marry you. If he runs he don't love you, but more what you let him get away with.
Good Luck
...............................
A
female
reader, Kiss Dont Miss  +, writes (30 January 2008):
I agree with Laura. No matter how it will look, be brave and show him that there's something frustrating you. sometimes we want too much of our BFs, believing they can read our thoughts. Be calm, offer him a walk in a park, or somewhere where it's quiet and there'll be no one to interrupt you. But I wouldn't do it in your flat. And tell your BF what makes you perplexed and worried. You two can solve the problem, but not you alone. Some wisdom person said that it takes two people to be in relationship. good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 If you have been in a relationship for that long and he has still not committed ,I think you will have commitment problems from him. It is better that you talk to him about it or you will miss the last train.
Don't you think it is time to talk about these things ? You can still do things like clubbing or meeting his friends together. It is just a commitment and nothing changes.
...............................
|
