A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a man when I was still married. We were both miserable in our marriages and we formed an intense sexual relationship very quickly. He's now separated and I'm divorced. We have become good friends and sleep together on a regular basis. I want more out of this, though, but I'm afraid to approach the subject. My first marriage was horrible and he knows it. I don't want him to think I'm trying to use him as a replacement. He has dropped lines that make me feel he wants a long term relationship with me, but I'm afraid that I'm just reading too deeply in them. Sparks fly, at least on my end. As I tell him, I'm utterly addicted to him. I have children and he doesn't. I'm afraid that he won't want to get close to me because of this. He entered into this weird relationship with me knowing I had kids and he's never said a negative word about them, but also he's never made a move to meet them. But then again, he hasn't met anyone in my world yet. There's more to it, I didn't want to write a novel, but that's the basis of it all. I want to know if it's wise to tell him how I really feel about him. Our relationship has been very light (outside of the bedroom) and we enjoy talking, but we've never had any in depth conversations, other than the ranting over our ex spouses. There is strong physical attraction between us, and an emotional one would be too, but I think we're both afraid to open up, in light of our recent botched relationships. I don't know if he's waiting for me to open up first, or if he wants to keep our relationship as is. I want more, and I'm terrified to put everything out in the open he's going to back away. I'd rather keep him in my life in the current situation than lose him. Any opinions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't really think I'm sending him mixed messages. I'm very good at keeping my emotions under control. He has no clue how I really feel about him. It's not even love, it's this connection I feel with him...it's unreal.
Who knows, maybe I'm just desperate for that connection. I didn't have it with my husband and maybe I'm making it out to be more than it is.
A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 tread very carefully here, you are sending him mixed messages. is what you have not enough for now.
you are good friends leave it that way till he opens up to you.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (25 October 2010):
 the best way to make him wanna keep it...is make him miss it :-)
be distant with him.do this for 1-2 weeks,depending on how muuch u see each other during one week.
when he asks u what's up,tell him somethings up but u cant discuss it right now.
schedule a proper time to talk.
in other words,tell him u are now divorced,but he is separated....which means nothing guarantees u he gonna stay with u.
leave it at that. dont wait for an answer or a conclusion.say u got somewhere to go.and leave.
this will make him see ur serious about it,and now he will do some thinking.
not many words are needed. no big words. just do what i said.
:-)
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