A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay... me and my boyfriend have been dating for 4 months will be 5 in May... I love him a lot but I don't think he really loves me back. He's really nice sweet funny and everything I want.. the problem is he wont tell me he loves me, kiss me, hold my hand or anything. I've only kissed him on the cheek twice and he freaked out both times. The only thing he'll let me do is hug him. And that's only once a day.. Another problem is that he kinda looks at other girls sometimes... I need advice on how to get him to pay attention and show me more affection... or is it pointless? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): I've already posted and I'm sorry to be going back to this, but one poster said to check his email and history. I strongly (STRONGLY) disagree. My opinion isn't everything, but if you're going through his personal stuff then it'll lead to trust issues. In both of you.
Talk!
-GG
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Talk to him about it. You are young so I doubt he has had many serious girlfriends maybe he is just shy.
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A
female
reader, iSmil3y +, writes (23 April 2009):
Have a serious talk with him and ask him to be honest with you and ask him if he really likes you and really wants to be with you. He could also be nervous about holding hands, kissing, etc. So after talking to him about if he really wants to be with you, if he says yes then talk to him about being nervous and let him know that it's alright with you for him to hold your hand, kiss you, hug you, and such.
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A
female
reader, jessylisa  +, writes (23 April 2009):
if he's been with you nearly 5 months that has to count for something, but something is definitely amiss, is he religious? if not id check he computer history and email account and make sure he isn't getting his kicks else where, just remember always be slightly suspicious of men!
or he could just be shy, when you are hugging him one day just gently stroke his leg if he allows this then move up and take it from there!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): Ah, what can we say? Clearly he's not ready.
Talk to him. Feel free to tell this guy that you do feel unappreciated and you really feel like you'd like to change the physical aspect of the relationship. If he really doesn't want anything to do with changing his "policies" then I think you have 2 options.
1. Deal with it. You say you love him, well then, show it by waiting. It can be really hard, but if it takes two for a relationship, and one isn't ready, then you aren't on the same page and he needs to catch up, and the magical solution is time. You've been together a long time--I'm guessing you're on the younger side of 13-15? Don't try to grow up too fast, either.
2. Reevaluate. If this guy can't and won't do things to make you happy, why are you still in it? Your feelings are what you need to consider here. If this relationship is causing more harm then good, really think about your options. There's something to be said for different priorities in a relationship.
Good luck, hope this helped,
-GG
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