A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Doctor, My name is Steve from Nigeria.I found your Email through Google.And i think you could be of help to my situation.I am confused and afraid of myself.This is my story, I fell in love with this girl that I met a month ago and I love her so much but the problem is seems to be in love with me. But,she has another guy before me although she told me about the relationship when we wanted to start the relationship but,am in love so i did not know what to do so I agreed to continue the relationship believing that whatever will be will be. And my love gets stronger everyday. She said I should give her time to decide who to choose,But am afraid of losing her and i love her so much even without her around. I am ready to do anything for her.Even restrained myself for her, by not calling or sending message to her on her request so as not to complicate issues for her but,I'm still scared of losing my heart. Because av been hurting myself so much to please her.Please Doctor,help me out.
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male
reader, jack23 +, writes (15 November 2006):
is this really the type of relationship you are looking for, where its a choice between you and someone else and your not the one??
Is evident that you have alot more feelings for her than she does for you, love is not pain which is what it seems you are feeling. If she doesnt feel stongly enough for you now what are the chances of this relationship working? If shes currently being unfaithful to her present boyfriend then this doesnt say much for how she will treat you, esp if shes feeling the same for him.
If you are feeling more and more for her then it would be reasonable to assume that the pain you will have to deal with later on will be far greater than it would be now. I would advise that you stand up to the situation and take control, tell her that things will not work out like this and that its all or nothing.
I think you can find someone more worthy of you time, someone that will treat you right and that will not cause you to question your worth in the relationship.
I hope this advice helps :)
A
female
reader, Jovial +, writes (15 November 2006):
hi steve
u need to slow down bcos its like u are obsessed with this girl than being inlove with her, u are not letting nature take its cause remember love comes naturally u dont have to hurt urself or do things irrationally to please ur partner, u need to feel free in a relationship and be ur own person. i think u moved too fast and she was willing to play u maybe she enjoyed the attention u gave her but now she is scared of what she did and telling u she need space so that she can make a choice is her way of getting rid of u,
u gave her so much and received nothing i think its time u start beliving it might be over between u guys even if she chooses u how do u know she will be able to let go of the other guy? i mean initially she couldnt leave him for u what makes u think she is capable of doing it now? relationships comes and go although they are unique, accept this time u made a bad choice and learn from it, it will help u move on without any regrets, u will find someone who will be able to give back as u have so much to give u deserve to be happy but not with her remember that. good luck
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