A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:Do I gamble and try and get something back with my ex?For those of you who haven't bee keeping up. My girlfriend of 2 years split with me back in June, because she was going to University. We had endured a long distance relationship since it began back in 2005.We tried to continue speaking after we broke up, but I was pretty emotional and this later caused more tention and arguements between us. A few days ago, after about a month and a half of not contacting her, I unblocked her from MSN while she was online, just to see if she would speak to me. She did.She continues to give the impression she would like to be friends. I mean a lot to her, of course. She, to me, is still the only person I want to be with.She gave up on the relationship, not wanting to drag out something she didn't think could work due to even worse circumstances. I was, and still am willing to take that risk.SO...Do I try and talk to her as a friend for a while, trying to build up a good, solid friendship between us, that could later develop into something bigger and better? OR, do I admit defeat? Just accept that things will never work out between us, and no matter how much she wants to; don't contact her, and lose her friendship.SHOULD I GAMBLE?? I want to be with her, and I think being a friend is the only way I could ever get something more, but there's still a huge chance that won't be the case.Please tell me what you think!
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broke up, long distance, msn, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (2 October 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Firstly, thank you all for your advice/opinions. I will do my best to keep some kind of friendship without me going through more pain.
I think my next step should be to text her now and again... I'm not sure how often though. The plan was that we would chat over MSN at the weekend, but it didn't happen, so I text her yesterday and she said that we would probably catch up during the week. So I'm not sure what my plan of action should be if we don't get speaking in the week.
If anyone could give some advice on how often I should contact her/what I should do if we don't talk this week, I'd be grateful.
Thanks.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Friendships are hard to find. At least good ones. Just realize "Now wasn't the right time" I doesn't mean that down the road things won't change. If you just give up and end the friendship, how long are you gong to wonder what the outcome would have been taking the other route? I'd talk to her as friends and see what happens.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (30 September 2007):
 Hi. It hurts I know. Just listen to all the songs on the radio and CD's. One person remaining in love with the other after a split goes on everyday. Here's my advice:
1)If you accept it's over,(admit defeat as you call it) you can move on and you won't be disappointed in the future. If you do get back together it will be a nice surprise. But don't expect it.
2) Or you can keep in touch as friends. This will keep you living in hope and give you lots of heartache, until the day she tells you about a new b'frnd. More pain. And in this situation you will never get a new girlfrnd.
She's dealt with situation practically and one that gives the least pain. You are hanging on and will prolong your pain.
It's up to you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Girliee +, writes (30 September 2007):
yeahh if you really care for you and she feels the same way and if you both got time for eachother there shouldnt be a problem
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A
male
reader, neb89 +, writes (30 September 2007):
hey,
i had a very similar thing happen to me not so long ago. i was with a girl for about 19 months, she called off the relationship saying that we should just be friends. although i was very broken up over it, as i still loved her as much as i ever did, i thought that if i maintained a friendship with her when she got back from uni something could again develop, she said that she wanted friendship and didnt want to lose contact with me. so for a a month i carried on talking to her, but through this i learnt of why she wanted the break up in the first place which was not a good for me. so when i heard of why she did it i cut all contact with her, and now that she has left for uni and will be gone for three years i feel that i will be able to move on, mayb see other people. then when she gets back if i would still like to try to have something i know it be for the right reasons, not because i am hung up over a break up.
if i were you i would not try to have anything more right now. i would wait untill you are over her, then when she gets back from uni if you still would like something more you know it will be for the right reason, thats what im goin to do anyway.
anyway hope this helped.
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (30 September 2007):
 It's worth of trying for a while but don't waste too much time on it.If your plan doesn't work out in about 2 months-give up...at least that's what I'd do.Good luck
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