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male
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*skillet
writes: I dated a girl for a year and a half. We had a great love and a great connection with each other. Our problem is that we argued a lot and we would push each other away, and a lot of times she would push me to break up. I loved this girl to no end and it killed me every time we fought because they were wars over nothing and I hated feeling badly towards her. About 5 months ago I had had enough of the fighting and at this time it was all the time. She was having knee surgery and as the date got closer and closer, the more frequent the fights became. Then after the surgery she was still going at it. And while she was recovering she started fighting with me that I wasn't there enough. Honestly I wanted to wait on this girl hand and foot because that's what she meant to me. But I had work and school, and over an hour drive to work. So at this time I had school during the morning, then a drive to work, a drive home, and by the time I got home it was after 11, and her mom wanted me out of the house at 11, so seeing her during the week was hard, and on the weekends I was with her all the time. But she was telling me that I wasn't there enough, and it turned into a fight that escalated and she pushed so hard that I left her. I didn't leave her because I didn't love her, I still love her today and its been 5 months. I left because I didn't want to argue and not be heard, and not be understood. So anyway we split and few weeks after when I cooled down I started to chase her and beg for her back. And for about a month we went back and forth, and then she basically stopped talking to me. And I freaked and did my thing, still begging and pleading. Then I cooled down and gave her a lot of space. And once in a while I'd say hi and not much else. So I've stopped saying hi and just let her be. now about twice a week, she'll ... what seems to be ... check up on me. I ran into her one night and we hadn't seen each other in a while and we chatted for a bit, and then she started acting odd, and I noticed she hadn't looked at my face for the 20 minutes we had been together. So I mentioned she seemed a little off and asked if she was ok. Then she started going off on how awkward it was to see me, and how she has no feelings and she's not happy with me and all this stuff. So a few days later I texted her asking if there was anything I could do to lighten how upset she is with me. She told me she was really sick and she didn't need the drama and to leave her alone. I said I hope you feel better, let me know if you need anything. Later that day she called me and ask me what I'm doing, for no reason, and no conversation other than what am I doing. And I just let it be. I didn't go out of my way to text her, but she'd send a text her and there, but never for a conversation. I texted her a couple times out of the blue and she would respond, but never a conversation, but later in the day or week she'll call me out of the blue, for no reason. I was drunk one night and I texted her I missed her, she said she missed me too. She hasn't said I miss you since we split, and at the end of our relationship she stopped saying things like I miss you ... I just let it be. She's called me to get together and then started an argument and we didn't get together. But behind this I've been going mentally nuts, I do a lot of online research, I've talked to so many people, I want my ex back and I've been trying to figure out what to do. I've even wanted to give up and I tried to let go, but I can't. And every text or phone call I get gets my hopes up and when nothing comes of it I go backwards, and go mentally and emotionally nuts, and this happens once or twice a week and lasts .... well it hasn't really gone away. And now I'm at my breaking point, I know I need to be done, because 5 months is enough time for her to figure things out and she shows that she doesn't want to be with me, but sends me texts, pictures, and calls me. So she called me the other day and I told her that I love the girl she used to be and that she needs to stop calling and texting me and that was it. (I wasn't a complete jerk with what I said, but it wasn't the nicest, but certainly a lot nicer than the things she's said to me when she's been mad) She texted me that I was insane, and way to go be crazy, and that she doesn't call me with rude messages. (that's a lie) Anyway, I want this girl back so bad, I want to be over her so bad too, I've done hanging with friends, new hobbies, everything. I want her love and passion and just the girl that I loved back, but I can't take these random phone calls and texts. Does anyone have any advice?
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reader, 83puremage1  +, writes (22 August 2011):
I am afraid there is nothing you can do. Sometimes life is like this.
I know how you feel because I am in similar situation as yours.
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Personallyi think she feels the EXACT same way you do, she misses you and she does love you other wise she wouldn't shout at you, we shout at eachother because we care about eachother, but when they don't listen we take the arguement to the next level, and u need to make her understand thisn", she's probably sik and tired of the fact that you two are arguing so much that she thinks its best for you both to just be like this, but no she's thinking wrongly and u need to make her see that your willing to change if she does and you will do ur best to make it work if she does to, its a relationship ur both supposed to be there for eachother, and if you can't be there with her physically, a text wudnt kill u
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